


The Castle Atop the Hill

by katsudont (rosegardenlake)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: And Music, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Character Death, Violence, a lot of sappy dorky love, graphic depictions of blood, kind of like a fairy tale AU, they're also younger here, viktor is a magical prince who's been locked away in the castle since he was born, yuuri is a knight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-14 04:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9161299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegardenlake/pseuds/katsudont
Summary: “I was calling you.  I’ve always been calling you."  Viktor looked up brightly, smiling as if he just explained everything.  “And now you’re here.”---In a cursed land covered in unforgiving ice, Yuuri becomes a knight so that he and his family can survive.  In the castle is where he finds Viktor, a prince with a magical gift, whom Yuuri believed could save anyone.  But maybe Viktor needs saving too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
> **UPDATE (1/24/18):  
> **  
>  Uhh, warning, I don't actually plan on actually finishing this...I'm sorry. OTL I lost my steam. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue upbeat music* My name is rosegardenlake! I'm one of the dime-a-dozen writers certified by the - NO, I'M KIDDING. UHH HI. Welcome to my first fan fiction! I've always wanted to post something but have never found the courage to share it. *WHEEZES* But Yuri on Ice is something special so I'm going to try! I hope you all will enjoy it. I don't really know how to work this site from this side of things...so if something terrible happens IM SORRY.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri Katsuki had been having a pleasant dream when he heard the screams.

He jerked awake, torn from the comfort of slumber, and pulled himself to his feet before his mind could catch up, stumbling for the door.

As he unbolted it, the force of the blizzard overwhelmed his sleep-ridden arms, pushing him backwards and cutting pain into his tender exposed flesh.  He grit his teeth and forced himself through it.

Several neighbors were out already, torches raised, flames flickering.  A foot from where Yuuri stood, blood trailed through pure white snow, messy and stark.  His neighbor was screaming as she followed the path, tears from her eyes, hands outstretched like that’d get her there faster.  

She was sobbing, loud ugly sobs that tore up from her heart.

Yuuri was just a boy at the time.  He barely knew his alphabet, but he understood what that trail of blood was.  The village was small and everyone had grown together.  It was no mystery how this had happened because he knew right away that it could be him tomorrow, or his best friend the next.

A small surprised sound startled him from behind.  He turned around, staring into his mom’s soft round eyes.  “Come away from the door, dear,” she murmured softly, already tugging his arm and drawing him away from the blizzard’s bitter cold.  She held Yuuri tightly in her arms, brushing his hair with tender love.  “Everything will be alright.  Everything will be okay,” she murmured into his hair.  

Yuuri’s father was clenching a large dagger in his hand as he shifted his hat into place.  “I’ll go see if I can help.”

“Daddy, don’t!”  Mari, Yuuri’s sister, cried from underneath her blankets, eyes wide with terror, but he was already gone.

"Mari, come here," their mother said, holding her arm out.

Yuuri focused on breathing.  Just a moment ago, he had been asleep.  He had felt warm and safe and happy.  But his dreams were kinder than reality, where his skin was cold and his classmate’s blood was on their doorstep.

“He’s going to be fine,” his mother was saying still, clinging to both of them.  “Everything is going to be okay.”

He had heard that many times before.  He was numb to it.  No matter how sweet it sounded, he understood for what it was: a lie that not even his mother believed.  He closed his eyes and felt his mother’s trembling.  He knew that was the truth.

 

By morning, the storm had blanketed the ground in fresh white.  If he hadn’t woken in the night, he might’ve never known.  The clouds had cleared and the wind was gone.  Everything was calm.

“Now, make sure to come home straight after school.  Straight away,” his mother was telling him as she forced his arms through his sweater.  She grunted as she gave it a fierce tug.  It didn’t budge.  He didn’t feel like he had grown that much from last year, but each day, his sweater was even more impossible to put on.  

His mother huffed as she pulled.  “The wolves don’t usually come out during the day, but we must remember to be careful.  Now that there are no more guards stationed in the village...”

“Mama,” Mari said from her cot, tying her boots on. It was a difficult task since the laces were frayed and her fingers were tender.  “Do you think last night would’ve happened if there had been guards still?”

“It would have still happened. I know why he went out,” Yuuri said.

Both sets of eyes fell on him.

His mother went back to tugging his sweater on.  “It’s because he didn’t follow the rules,” she said, avoiding his eyes.  “If he had listened to the rules, he would’ve been okay.  It’s dangerous outside at night.  That is why we must never go out.”

“They were starving,” Yuuri said softly.

“We all are, sweetie,” she hummed.  “Where’d your hat go?”  

He looked away, pressing his lips together tightly.  “I don’t need it.  I’m okay.”

“Honey, where did you put your hat?”

“I’m warm just like this.”

“...You gave it away again, didn’t you?   _Yuuri_ , I told you that we can’t afford to do that!  I know you want to help others - we all do - but you can’t help others if you get sick yourself.”  Her eyes were filled with so much worry that Yuuri could feel it even without seeing.  Guilt weighed him down as he shifted uncomfortably.  “You are so kind, Yuuri,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.  “But please, remember to look after yourself first, okay?  Here.”  It was her last hat but she pulled it from her own head and tugged it over his own, stuffing his ears into the ends.  “I’m only letting you borrow it.  Don’t go giving it away, do you hear?  Keep it on all day.  I’ll be wanting it back eventually.”

Yuuri knew she was only saying that so he wouldn't give it away, but it made sense, so he sighed.  “Yes, Mother.”

“Good boy.  Come home right after school.  Promise?”

“I always do.”

“You’re a smart boy.  My precious little Yuuri.  Be safe.”  She kissed him on the head and gave him one last hug before leaving.  

Phichit was waiting by their usual spot under the tree, using the toe of his shoe to make designs in the snow.

He smiled brightly when he saw Yuuri and tossed his arm up in a wave.  “Yuuri!  I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.”

“Mom hardly let me out of the house.  Did you wake up last night?  Did you see -?”

Phichit nodded slowly, staring ahead as they began their walk to school.  “I heard him talking about it yesterday in school - going out to try to find something to eat.  He was saying, ‘If there’s nothing during the day, then that must mean the food comes out during the night’.  And I guess it turned out to be true.”

“Everyone told him not to go...”

“His sister just died from the flu.  They had no food left.  And this _cold_.  It must’ve felt like the end of the line.  What else was he supposed to do but try?”

They were both quiet for awhile, wondering how much longer they could stand it themselves before they grew that desperate.  

“I had been dreaming,” Yuuri mumbled.  “I was still half in it as I ran to the door to see what all the noise was about.  I dreamt the prince had come down from his castle and wherever he touched, he melted the snow.  This green _green_ grass appeared just like in the storybooks.  Flowers bloomed.  It was _warm_.  And as he walked by, he stopped in front of my house.  We invited him to eat with us and as he sat down at our table.  Suddenly there was enough food for everyone!  Biscuits, mashed potatoes, gravy, an entire turkey!  It was amazing...”  

Their stomachs grumbled together on cue.  They sighed.  

“I bet he will help,” Phichit said, turning his sights up to the castle in the distance, far up into the hill.  “Soon.  He’s thinking up a plan.”

“Do you think so?”  Yuuri looked too.  The sight was too much to ignore.  While down here, they lived in tatters, smothered in ice, the castle was the image of a dream - proud and tall, untouchable, a promise of a life that was perfect, with food and _warmth_.  

“I think my fingers are going to fall off.”  Yuuri held his hands up in front of him.  The tips were more painful than they looked, but then again, they’d only been outside for a few minutes.  There would be time for appearances to display the proper amount of pain soon enough.

Phichit held his hands up too and inspected them closely, like they were an interesting science experiment.  “It really is a pretty shade of purple though.”

Yuuri laughed, bumping into Phichit’s shoulder playfully.  “You’re so weird.”

Phichit giggled.  “Don’t you dare toss me into the snow!  I’m in no mood for playing!”  But he bumped Yuuri back, grinning brightly.

“What are you two talking about?”  Their friend from school, Yuuko, came bumbling over, grinning at them.  Her eyes grew wide as she leaned forward.  “Did you hear about last night?  A wolf.  Again.  Didn’t the same thing just happen last month?”

“The prince will fix it!”  Phichit declared, holding up his finger boldly.  “When all seems hopeless, the clouds will part and sun will shine down upon us and Prince Viktor will appear outside the castle gates, atop the hill, galloping toward us on a white shiny stallion.  The snow will melt!  Our frostbitten fingers will warm and our meals will jump onto our dinner plates.   _Pre-cooked_.”

Yuuko giggled.  “I heard he really can melt snow.”

“Well, _I heard_ that he can speak to animals,” Phichit nodded wisely.  “And make them obey his will.”

Yuuko brightened as she made out a figure leaving his house, pulling his gloves on with a frown on his face.  “Takeshi!  Ooh!  You’re wearing your precious gloves today!  Hold my hand!  Warm me up!”

He tsked.  “Did I hear you talking about _precious Prince Viktor_ again?”

She grinned brightly.  “Did you want to hear more?  You secretly love him, don’t you?  Don’t worry, don’t worry, everyone does.  There are so many good things about him!  I heard his voice is supposed to be more beautiful than an angel’s.”

Phichit smiled cheekily, leaning into Yuuko as their excitement grew.  “When he dances, he can turn bad men into saints - all sins forgiven.”

She leaned right back, voice rising merrily.  “His tears turn into diamonds.”

“Even grown men cry at his beauty.”

“When he was born, the midwives had to cover their eyes because he was so radiant they couldn’t take it.”  

“His first word was ‘world peace’.”

“His hair is weaved into the finest robes and sold for a fortune.”

“Ew,” Takeshi grunted, pretending to vomit.  “Would you two cut it out?  I don’t understand everyone’s fascination with him.  You’re all beyond ridiculous.  He’s just another royal scum.  We’re dying down here and they’re fine eating their fancy meals, leaving us to rot.  He’s not any different.  Where is he right now if he worries so much about us?  Probably ordering another robe made of gold that he won’t even appreciate.  Yuuri agrees with me, don’t you, Yuuri?”

Quietly, Yuuri did agree.  He wished he did not.  Yuuri had seen the prince before, a year or two ago, as he had rode through their village in extravagant clothes on top of a beautiful white horse.  He’d sat in his saddle tall and proud, his long silver hair trailing behind him, blowing in the wind like music.  He was the most beautiful thing Yuuri had ever seen.  If anyone could save them, it’d be him, that’s what Yuuri had thought.  

He was so sure he’d save them that Prince Viktor was all he could talk about for awhile.  He’d babble on excitedly to his parents and they’d humor him.  When he found an abandoned dog in the woods, he’d begged his parents to let him stay, and then named him after his hero.  

Vicchan.  It had a warm and beloved ring to it.  There was hope in it.  

The prince had been his shining light for a long time.  The image of him, an angel, was burned into his mind like a star in the midnight sky.

But the silence from the castle atop the hill became stifling.  Hope and wonder faded with time.  Each villager death counted against him.  If the prince did care about them, he didn’t do a thing to help them.  And one day, quite suddenly, Yuuri woke up and realized this.  They were all alone.

“Yuuri?”  Takeshi asked, pulling him out of his reverie.  

“I don’t know,” Yuuri mumbled.  “But sometimes I wish he’d come down here.”

“He’d never, Takeshi laughed, bitterness clear in his tone.

No one denied that.  Beloved or not, his absence was telling.

The atmosphere was heavy after that.  Against his will, Yuuri remembered the trail of blood from last night.  The cries of his heartbroken mother.  These were not strangers.  These were friends, and this sort of thing happened too often.  Nothing would save any of them, vulnerable and so brokenly human, and the thought was slowly suffocating them all.

Phichit rocked back on his heels and tried brightly, “Guess what, guys?  My older brother said that he’s getting me gloves with the extra money he makes. Takeshi won’t be the only one fancy and warm out here pretty soon!”

“Wow,” Yuuri blinked.  “He has enough money for that?”

“Knights get paid really well,” Phichit nodded eagerly, holding out his hands again and looking at his discolored fingers.  “He has blankets and food and as much soap as he wants!  You should see how clean he is all the time.  He _sparkles_ .  Just last week, he got a _pillow_ made with _feathers_.”

“Wow.”  They all said, thinking.

“...Must be a lot of hard work to become a knight,” Takeshi said, bringing them all back down, bursting their visions filled with hope.

Phichit nodded.  “My brother was a natural and even still, he worked harder than anyone I know.  But he’s happy.”  He was quiet.  “I want to be a knight.”

“I thought you wanted to be a baker,” Yuuko said.  

He swallowed hard, looking down.  “I can’t bake without any food.  And if I have no gloves and get frostbite, I can’t knead bread.  If I’m a knight, everything will become better.  Options will open.”  He pushed a smile onto his face.

“You’d probably have to be really good at fighting to be a knight, huh?”  Yuuri said in a small voice.

Takeshi snorted, elbowing him on the arm.  “You’re not thinking of trying to be a knight, are you?  No offense, but you wouldn’t be able to keep up.”

Yuuri frowned, massaging the spot.  Takeshi was right.  That playful nudge would probably bruise, anymore than that and he might break a bone or two.

But Phichit’s eyes were shining.  “Be a knight with me, Yuuri!”  He cried happily, tossing his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders.  “Forget the non-believers!  We’ll send Takeshi a glove each when we’re living it up, warm and comfortable as the best knights in the land!”

“What about me?”  Yuuko wailed.

Phichit tossed his arm around her too.  “All of us!  Let’s go forth, my friends!  We can do it!”

“Yay!”  Yuuko cheered, tossing her arms up in the air.  

Takeshi rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, yeah.  Just make sure the gloves have room to move, yeah?  These ones are stiff.”

“Whatever kind you want!”  Phichit rejoiced.

Even Yuuri smiled.  He didn’t want to be pushed into a corner with no options.  He wanted to save everyone.

 

* * *

 

 

One week later, his mother got sick.  It was cold.  It was always cold.  Yuuri was still wearing her hat.  She became feverish and feeble and began to say things that made no sense.  Yuuri held her hand a lot, just staring at her soft kind face.  He gently pulled the hat back over her head, praying that it’d be enough for his sweet dear mother who didn't deserve any of this.  Mari was there and so was his father, and they all stayed together as she fought an illness she shouldn't have had to. The hat weighed heavily on Yuuri's heart.  

Days would pass and she would get better, but sitting there, worrying like that, was almost more than Yuuri could bear.

He loved them all so much.  They were the only shred of warmth in this cold harsh ice world.  He didn’t want to think about life without any of them.  

It was there, surrounded by their love, watching his mother suffer, that he decided.  This wasn't cutting it. He would become a knight.  It didn’t matter how hard he’d have to fight for it or how many bruises his small soft little body would have to take, he would protect the ones whom he loved. Because his family was precious and he couldn’t bear it if he had to wake up one night, torches held high, a trail of red to follow deep into the forest, their bodies at the end of it.  He wouldn’t let that be one of them.  

No matter the cost.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Viktor finally makes an appearance. Well, it's only been one chapter, but it feels like a long time to me, haha. Any amount of time without Viktor is too long.

* * *

 

Yuuri had not slept at all.  

All the usual things bothered him and then some.  He just couldn’t shut his mind off.  He was dead tired.  But being dead tired excused him from nothing, so he changed into his clothes and shifted his belt on his hip.  He splashed his face with water and took in a deep breath.  Ready or not, he was going to make today work.  Today was the day that all his dreams would come true.

Years had passed and he was stronger now.  Small still, gentle still, but more confident, more of a fighter.

Phichit was beneath the tree, in their usual spot, dressed in the same trainee outfit Yuuri wore, back straight and eyes bright with nervous tension.  When he saw Yuuri, he grinned, and a small piece of Yuuri’s nervousness fell away.

“Wow, nice outfit.  Wish I had one.”

Yuuri snorted, pulling himself up tall.  “Too bad I didn’t have a best friend who could keep up with me.”

“Very funny, Katsuki!”

“You asked for it, Chulanont.”

Phichit let out a shaky breath.  “We are so nervous.”

Yuuri groaned, letting out a puff of a sigh.  He gestured toward the long walk up the hill.  “We should get going.  Don’t want to be late for the assessment.”

Phichit’s voice dropped to a whisper as his eyes turned toward the castle atop the hill, quiet and untouchable.  “I can’t believe we’re finally doing this.  After all those years.”

“No room for failure,” Yuuri said firmly.

“Nope.”

They trekked up that lonely pathway in shaky silence, both thinking far too hard about what was to come.  

“Couldn’t sleep last night,” Phichit chuckled with a grimace on his face.

“Me neither.”

“Think we’ll see the queen?”

“No.”

“Hm.  What about the prince?”

“Honestly, I’m not even sure if he actually exists.  What we saw those years ago was probably a figment of our imagination.”

Phichit smiled weakly.  “Maybe he’s a spirit and in our assessment, we have to fight him!  Like a ghost.  Ooh, spooky.”

“Didn’t your brother say we just had to show off our skills against other knights?”

“That’s what he _said_.  Maybe he had to swear an oath to never tell.”

“Maybe...”  Yuuri said.  Idle chit chat kept his nervousness at bay.  He could feel it, tight in his throat and clenching his stomach painfully.  How could he perform like _this_?

Too soon, the castle gates were looming over them, blotting out the sun.  They stopped for a moment, just staring up at its massive height, trying to believe this was real.  Tiny flags fluttered majestically at the top of the spiraling columns, and Yuuri wondered vaguely how big they were up close.  Probably larger than him.

Yuuri let out a small breath that sounded more like a gasp.  He said softly, “I’m glad you’re here with me, Phichit.”

“Me too, Yuuri.  I don’t think I could do this alone.  You would be okay though.”

Yuuri shook his head.  “I wouldn’t want to do this alone.”

“So, let’s...let’s go then,” Phichit nodded once, sharply, forcing determination into his eyes as he looked over at Yuuri.  “For us, for our families, for our friends.”

Yuuri nodded too.  “We can do it.”

They both took one sure step forward, and then another, and another, and slowly, they were walking into the castle they’d seen far off in the distance, one they never even dreamed of going into.  

It was bigger than Yuuri’s wildest imagination.  The interior was so regal and beautiful that Yuuri forgot how to breathe for a moment, looking around at it all with wide eyes, taking it in almost fearfully.  There was so much grand space that the village could fit in the entrance hall one hundred times over and still be comfortable.  

“This is amazing,” Phichit whispered, too afraid to speak any louder and disturb the space around them.  They felt small and out of place, dirty in such a pristine striking castle.  

Yuuri pressed his lips together and looked away at the ceiling that stretched as high as the heavens probably.  “We can’t be intimated. We have to keep going.”

Phichit pulled his attention forward.  “O-of course.”

It was as silent as a tomb, the only sound was their footsteps against the cushy red carpet that rolled out long and welcoming across the shiny floors.  The guards stationed throughout the castle were completely still, more statues than men, and Yuuri had to press down the tremble that slipped out of his soul, thinking that, best case scenario, that would be him.  Mute and stiff, watching, waiting, still.  

He wanted this, he had to remember.  But he looked away as quickly as he could as he walked forward, closer to sealing his fate.

At the end of the hallway, they were faced with two different directions.

“Wh-which way do we go?”  Phichit asked.

Yuuri blinked.  “I thought your brother gave you directions.”

“He did!  I...uh...”  Utter bafflement was clear on his face, but when he picked a direction, Yuuri couldn’t argue.  He knew less than Phichit.  He loved Phichit to death, but in hindsight, he should’ve known better than to rely completely on his directional skills.

“...Let’s hurry,” Yuuri murmured, moving his feet faster.  If they got lost, this would all be over.  His poor family would have to continue living this way forever, afraid and frozen.  They didn’t have much more fight left in them.   _They had to hurry_.

“Yuuriiiii,” Phichit said, trotting after him.  “Wait up!  You’re going too quickly.”

“We can’t miss it!  What if we’re going the wrong way?”

“I can’t run that fast!”

Yuuri came to a screeching halt and Phichit nearly ran into him.

“I didn’t say you had to stop -”  Phichit sniffed.  When Yuuri didn’t respond, he walked around him, looking at his face with a frown.  “Are you okay?”

“Do you hear that?”  Yuuri whispered, concentrating so hard that there was a crease between his eyebrows.

Phichit leaned forward and strained his hearing.  “What?”

“That music.”

“Uh, music?”

“Down here...”  Yuuri ran off the main pathway, down small steps that opened up to a long dark corridor.  He didn’t stop.

“Uh, Yuuri?  This is definitely not the way.  We need to turn back.”  Phichit was hesitantly chasing after him, turning to look back at the hallway, where there was light and _their future_.

“It’s beautiful.  Can’t you hear it?”

“I’m starting too, yeah, and it’s nice, but aren’t there more important matters at hand here?  Like our assessment?”

Yuuri was breathing fast, his eyes wired.  “I’ve never heard anything like it.”

“Yuuri, we need to head back.”

“Who’s playing that, I wonder...?”

“Yuuri!  Come back with me, okay?  You’re kind of freaking me out.”  Phichit rushed forward and snatched up Yuuri’s arm, tugging him back.  

Yuuri paused just slightly before turning back to the long corridor.

“We’re almost there.  Just really quick.”

“If you don’t come with me, I’ll...  I’ll leave without you!”

“Then go.  I’ll be right there.”

“Y-Yuuri!”  

But Yuuri had shaken Phichit off of himself and was running again, desperate to find the source of the music.  It was as if _this_ was what his heart had ached for all along.  Not food, not warmth, not escape from the eternal winter.  This could soothe and heal his soul from anything.  It was all he ever wanted.  All he ever needed.  

The music began to twirl through the air, rich and golden.  Though the hallway was filled with a chill, the music gave the illusion of warmth, and Yuuri was not cold for once.  

He was almost there.  It was getting louder, filling his heart to the brim, granting him happiness, enriching his soul.  

There was a door at the end of the hallway, and his hand reached out, desperate to find what was on the other side of the door.

It wouldn’t budge.  It was locked.

Yuuri pushed against it with all his weight, frustration not even giving him the strength he needed to force it open.  

“Oh, come on,” he breathed.  He was so close.  If he could just get through that door...  Maybe he needed more force.

He took a few steps back to give himself a head start and then ran for the door, throwing his weight against it.  

_Bam_!

The music jarred to a startled halt.  Silence fell around him.

He gasped as a hand whirled him around.

“What are you doing!”  It was Phichit.  His eyes were wide and his face was pale.  “We shouldn’t be here!  We could be killed!  Yuuri, please!  You’re acting strangely.  We need to get back!  Our assessment has probably already started!”

“R-right...”  Yuuri muttered, shaking his head in an attempt to clear it.  “I don’t know what came over me...”  

Phichit let out a breath of relief and began to lead Yuuri out of the hallway quickly.  “Don’t scare me like that!”

Yuuri let himself be led, his eyes far away.  What had he been doing?  He didn’t even really care about music all that much.  Suddenly, it didn’t make any sense, when only a few moments before, he’d been driven by primal instinct to get through that door.  It was very unlike him.  It scared him probably more than it had Phichit.

Luckily, they were not late for their assessment.  And even luckier, training with Phichit’s brother had paid off, and both of them impressed even the captain.  The knights they fought against were over-exerted by the time they were done, panting with beads of sweat dripping down their faces.  Yuuri was still on his feet, tall and proud.  Surprised, but pleased.  Phichit was grinning up a storm toward his brother from across the room, who shared the sentiment.

Things were looking up, but still, Yuuri couldn’t shake the feeling of unease as they walked past that long dark corridor again.  There was no music this time, and he was grateful for that.  The music scared him.  

 

A week later, he and Phichit were officially knights.  

“Congratulations, my wonderful, sweet Yuuri!”  His mother said, kissing both of his cheeks and tossing her arms around his shoulders.

Mari was smiling despite herself, nodding her congratulations at him.  “Nice one,” she said.  

Yuuri’s dad was in his rocking chair by the empty hearth, saying, “I always knew you could do it.”

“I’m so glad,” Yuuri sighed in relief.  “Phichit and I will be working in the castles all day and sometimes all night, but when I start saving up enough, I’ll get you all proper clothing.  We can have a fire and food.  Maybe new blankets.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” his mother had to step on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek.  “You are so _good_ , but don’t worry about us.  I just want you to be happy.”

“This will make me happy,” Yuuri grinned.  “This is all I’ve ever wanted.  And finally, it’s coming true.  I couldn’t be happier.  Honest.”

Things were finally looking up.  Yes.  They were.  He was stationed on the east side of the castle, away from that long dark corridor.  Here, he was safe.  Here, he was tucked away from temptation.  Here, he was...bored.

He was grateful, sure, and relieved, in the beginning.  

But the weeks passed and became months, and all he did...was stand.  

It was not what he had expected to say the least.  He had trained very hard to learn how to fight so well.  He thought he’d at least get to go outside a bit, ride horseback over the hills, kill a few monsters, _protect someone_.  Maybe switch rooms at the very least.  But he was stuck.  

He had to close his eyes sometimes and remind himself that his family finally had blankets at night.  They were eating properly and were no longer getting as sick as often.  So many good things.  So many...

All he could think of as he stood there was that corridor.  It was so close, and yet...

One morning, like all the other mornings, Yuuri was standing at his post, looking out at the sky and all of its sharp blue, when he heard the sound of armor approaching from around the corner.  

“Yuuri!”  Phichit greeted, bright grin not yet sapped out of his personality.  He was content now that he was well fed and had some warm toasty gloves.  He had even sent a pair to Takeshi.  “I’ve got great news!  I get to go out today!  A delivery never made it, so I’ve got to go see what’s got it caught up.”

“You’re the best archer after all.  It’s a good choice.”

“Yep.  But in the meantime, you have to fill in for my post.  Captain’s orders.”

“Oh...what about mine?”

He shrugged.  “I’m not sure, but that’s what he said.  Want me to show you the way, or are you good?”

“You’re...in the west hall, right...?”  Yuuri’s mouth had suddenly gone dry.  He licked his lips, but it did little.  “By that corridor.”

Phichit nodded, watching Yuuri carefully.  “Just don’t leave your post...right?”

“Of course.”

Phichit hesitated.  “If you want, I can ask the captain -”

“No, no.  Don’t be silly.  I’ve got this.  Go find that lost cargo, okay?  And be careful out there.”

“Yes, sir!”  Phichit grinned merrily.  “You be careful too!  Remember not to wander off.  I’m serious!”

“I can’t afford a mistake, Phichit, don’t worry.”

“Mmkay,” Phichit said, leaving with one last calculating look, but he left with faith in his eyes, because that was the sort of person Phichit was.  

Yuuri’s heart was beating hard with fear as Phichit left.  Maybe Phichit had faith in his friend, but Yuuri knew it was probably misplaced.  He remembered how determined he had been for this position last time he went past, and he remembered how all thought of it went flying from his head the second he heard that gentle music floating through the hallway.  Just a whisper of it had been enough to send him running mindlessly.

The first hour standing in Phichit’s post, only a few feet from that fated corridor, his back was locked in place and his heart wouldn’t stop fluttering.  

The second hour was a little better.  He managed to convince himself that the music wouldn’t play, and even if it did, it was just music.  He had better control over himself than that.

The third hour, he was certain he had made it all up and everything was fine.  Completely fine.

The fourth hour, the music started to play.

All he had to do.  Was stand.  In that.  Spot.  He could listen to the music and not move and he’d be completely fine.

But that’s not what he did.  

He couldn’t.  

His feet took him where his mind told him he could not go.  He walked as if in a trance, pulled by some strange force.  And then, as the music became louder, he began to run full speed, that desperation lighting up his insides, sending his heart pumping like mad, shocking his brain into attention.

It was so _beautiful_ .  The notes were an interweaving art, skillfully played soft at all the right moments, crescendoing just so.  It wasn’t played, it was _felt_ .  All Yuuri wanted to do was run his hands through the colors the song was painting through the air, to _feel them_ as they were heard, to get closer into them.

A moment ago, he was Yuuri Katsuki, the boy he had been every day of his life and not a moment less, trying to force himself to be content, trying to numb the desire in his brain for _more_.  The next moment, he was the wind, dancing and swirling through the space around him, the world his canvas to play and create.

When he came to the locked door, he tried something simpler this time: he knocked.

The music slowed to a halt.  

There was a lull in sound in which Yuuri blinked awake again.  

This was a problem.

He was horrified that he had gotten this far, done this _again_.  He needed to tell Phichit.  He needed to never come near here again.

But then the door in front of him opened, slowly, a dainty pale hand on the edge of it, guiding it open.  

Bright blue eyes appeared through the opening, shock forcing them wide.

He was an angel.  Yuuri had no question in his mind.  No one had a face like that and hair so unnaturally long and silver, so unreal.  Untouchable.  His eyes were too innocent, too pure to live in a world like this.  There was a flower crown atop his head, soft delicate petals weaved through.

Yuuri stood there, transfixed for the second time in as many minutes.

A small smile crept on the angel’s face with sweet soft hesitance.  His lips were blood red against cream skin, parted slightly, trying to form words slowly, carefully.

“You’re here,” he said, voice as warm and musical as a summer ocean’s breeze.  Yuuri swore that he heard the seagulls in the storybooks, see the bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds...the horizon line he could only dream of.  

The angel laughed, a short incredulous sound, bathed in relief as he continued to stare at Yuuri as if _he_ were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.  “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you,” he continued when Yuuri didn’t say anything.  “I knew you’d come.  Please, won’t you come inside?  Quickly, before the guards see.”  

The angel stepped back, holding a hand out to gesture Yuuri forward.  Behind him was a sight Yuuri had never thought he’d see.  There was _life_.  

Yuuri realized in shock that before him was a garden, so plump and full with life, so _green_.  There was not a single hint of snow.  There were flowers.  There were trees with leaves!  

He had only heard of gardens like this in stories of long ago.  He never thought he’d see one.  It was beautiful...  Light was pouring in from the glass up above, bathing the person down below in ethereal warmth.

“My name’s Viktor,” the angel said, holding his hand out for Yuuri.  “What’s your name?”

And Yuuri took two steps inside.


	3. Chapter 3

Yuuri wasn’t entirely sure what was boggling his mind more - the beautiful being in front of him, watching him happily, or the vines curling up trees and the flowers smearing color across grass.  He’d never seen anything like this, like either of them, and his mind didn’t have any sort of template on how to behave next.  So he just stood.  And stared blankly.  Unable to offer any sort of intelligent comment.  

The angel in front of him, hands clenched tightly behind his back, tilted forward curiously, that bright sun-filled smile still on his lips.  “So you’re a knight?  Newly sworn in?”

Yuuri spluttered over his answer, brain in overdrive.  “A-a few months, s-sir.  I mean-!   _Your Highness_.”

Viktor held his hands up in an attempt to calm Yuuri.  “Just my name is fine.  If you don’t mind me asking...what’s yours?”

Yuuri bent into an awkward bow, mind still reeling.  The grass beneath his nose was so _green_ .  Even in the storybooks the pages were dulled and dimmed.  He’d never thought this color could exist like this, so overwhelming, so enchanting, so _much_.  Somehow he managed to find words through the confusion.  “My name is Yuuri Katsuki, Your Highness.”

“ _Yuuri_ ,” Viktor murmured it softly, as if it were something very precious and sacred to him.  He closed his eyes, the sun bathing him as he thought to himself in silence, the gentlest of smiles on his face.  “I like it,” he said eventually, voice even warmer than before.  “And you have such fluffy hair!  I’ve never seen anything quite like it, can I touch it?”

Yuuri blinked at him.

“Oh.  No, of course that’s strange,” Viktor murmured, halfway to himself, delicate fingers pressed against his bottom lip as he thought.  “Um...I...”  He forced out a laugh, twisting his foot into the dirt beneath him as he sought out words.  When he spoke, his voice was much softer.  “I had all these things I’ve been thinking I’d ask you if I ever saw you, and here you are, standing here in front of me, and I can hardly remember my name.”

Faintly, Yuuri pushed out.  “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that...?”

“Oh, no.  No, no.  I’m just...”  Viktor shrugged, smile on his face.  “I’m just me.   _But you’re_ from the outside.  I’ve heard so many interesting tales...  The snow, the danger, the sun!  I’m so excited that I...”  He trailed off, watching. “Yuuri?”

Yuuri was turning around slowly, eyes wide and tearing up as he _saw_.  

Ever since he was born, everything was dead and frozen.  In all honesty, he probably would’ve cried if he had seen a weed grow out of the snow, but he hadn’t even been able to squeeze that much out of the earth, no matter how hard he tried.  

His grandmother had longed to see a flower one last time.  It was all she talked about, even as she lay dying, her vision fading into black.  The last thing she whispered was how much she wished she could see another grown life.

Yuuri had tried and tried and tried to breathe life into the dead plot of land behind his house, but nothing had come of it, and now his granny was gone.

But all along, up in the castle atop the hill, there was an entire garden.

If only she could have seen this.   _Felt this._  His heart was surely going to burst.

He had no clue what the names to any of the plants or trees were, but it didn’t matter, because there were _colors_ .  It wasn’t all white and brown, it was a soft mix of purples and bright pinks, yellows and blues all painted majestically inside this golden warm garden.  Flowers could be _blue?_  Yuuri had no idea.  But there it was, growing tall and beautiful and Yuuri was just _so overwhelmed_.  

It took awhile to realize that the angel was no longer talking.  Even though Yuuri longed to see just one glimpse of a single flower all his life, it didn’t feel like any sort of loss when he turned his gaze from them and onto Viktor.  

“Y-Your Highness -”

“‘-Viktor’ is fine-”

“-This is absolutely beautiful.  I had no idea such life existed...”

Viktor was smiling, content watching the amazement unravel in Yuuri’s eyes.  “You like it?  I’m glad.”

“Life does not grow for us down below, in the village.  It never has, not as long as I’ve lived.”

“No, nor here.  I have to coax it from the ground with my music.”

Yuuri laughed, the sound breathless and dazed.  The music played earlier certainly was beautiful enough for that.  “I’ve got to learn how to play like that someday then,” he said on a wistful chuckle.

“Are...you crying?”  Viktor asked curiously, tilting his head and leaning in closer to see.

“N-no!”  Yuuri sniffed, moving his glasses from his face to rub his eyes.  “No.  It’s just...  It’s so...  I never knew.”

“If it helps, I probably wouldn’t know half the things about your village down below.  I find it very fascinating.  I’ve always wanted to go back and see properly.”

“Oh,” Yuuri laughed, the sound wet and embarrassed.  “You won’t find anything you’d like.  It’s cold down there.  All the trees have died.  But this one...”  Yuuri sighed happily, forgetting himself and walking deeper into the garden, past Viktor.  He slipped the glove off his fingers with a small tug, leaving his hands bare and exposed.  Slowly, fingers trembling, he reached out to the tree and pressed his hand there.  

He let out a small breath.  It felt so different when it was alive.

Viktor was beside him, watching, eyes bright and curious.  He grinned cheekily.  “Is it talking to you?”

“It feels...alive.”

“That’s because it is.”

Yuuri sighed, content.  He hummed under his breath, “I could stay here forever.”  He opened his eyes gently, looking up at Viktor.  He was so regal, so unreal, Yuuri felt squashed and breathless in his presence.  He bowed again as he was hit with the reality of it another time.  Reality came at him in waves, making him stumble with nervousness.  “Y-Youre Majesty, forgive me.  I just barged in.  I’m just a knight, I shouldn’t be here.”

“No need for that.  Of course it’s okay, Yuuri.  I was the one who invited you.”

Yuuri brought his hands back in, wringing them tightly, suddenly very shy now.  Despite how Viktor appeared, Yuuri couldn't quite explain it, but he felt more comfortable than he should.  He wasn't running for the door at least, which he always assumed would be his first reaction.  Viktor's eager bright eyes and kind smile helped him.  He hadn't expected him to be so wonderful in that way too.

He wasn’t sure what to say, so he grasped for the first thought that popped into his head.  “You...you said that you knew me from before?”

“I was calling you.  I’ve always been calling you.  See?”  He took two graceful steps, as lithe and light as a fairy, and leaned over a tall golden instrument that Yuuri had never seen before.  Viktor plucked a string, and the sound, sweet and pure like Viktor, rang out through the garden, filling its space and expanding into the golden air, finding its home there.  

Viktor looked up brightly, smiling as if he just explained everything.  “And now you’re here.”

“Now I’m here...”  Yuuri murmured.  “Are you sure you mean me?”

Viktor laughed, the sound musical, like chiming bells.  “Of course.  Who else?”

“What do you want with me?”

With each question Yuuri asked, Viktor’s smile grew and grew.  He sat down happily beside his instrument and leaned his forehead against it in the way one leans against a lover - comfortable, completely on the wavelength.  “Yuuri Katsuki, my little knight, all I want is to get to know you.”

“But...me?  Why me?”

Viktor laughed outright, delighted.  He leaned back in his seat, fingers reaching out to the strings before him, running down them smoothly without producing sound.  “You heard the music playing, yes?  Tell me, did you like it?”

“It was wonderful,” Yuuri said in earnest, voice soft and raw.  “I’ve never heard anything so beautiful.”

A blush went over Viktor’s cheeks and his eyes shone as he stared determinedly at his fingers and bit his lip.  He gently plucked a string, the sound soft and gentle.  “My mother used to play this, but now it’s mine.  I like to compose songs.  The one you heard today I made for you.”  He hummed it softly under his breath as if it were as simple as breathing.

Yuuri cleared his throat, frowning.  “But...we just met.”

“I knew we would,” Viktor said, closing his eyes and letting himself sway to the music he was humming.  He started plucking it out on the strings casually.  “Because of the song I composed.”

Yuuri was confused, but he didn't ask further.  Why should it make sense?  He was starting to truly believe this was all just a dream.  In the morning, when he was back at home, tucked into his grey cot with his plain blankets, he’d probably awaken just like every other morning, and this dream, so colorful, so bright, so rich, would fade away into nothingness.

With that in mind, he felt freer.  If this was a dream, he should enjoy it.  He sat down on the grass, watching Viktor like a child does when someone reads them a story.  As he watched, he let his hands run through the grass’ individual strands.  He was careful not to feel them too hard.  The last thing he wanted to do was cause damage.

“How many songs have you made?”  Yuuri asked.

“Loads of them.”  Viktor’s eyes grew wide with stars.  “Want to hear more?”

“I’d love to.  Your music is the best thing I’ve ever heard.”

Viktor laughed, merry and child-like, and he brought his fingers up to the strings to play.

Yuuri didn’t even realize it as the time passed.  He played for hours.  It wasn’t until Viktor’s fingers slowed to a stop and he turned his eyes skyward at the orange above, that Yuuri even remembered himself.  It was evening.

Reality slapped him hard across the face, complete and startling for the first time since he heard Viktor’s first song today.

“I shouldn’t be here!”  He gasped, clapping a hand over his mouth.

Hurt stabbed through Viktor.  “What?”

“I’m a knight!  I have a post to fill.  I’ve left it abandoned all day!  If they find out -”  

Yuuri sprang to his feet and was already running when Viktor called out.

Yuuri turned.  

“This,” Viktor said, presenting a hastily tied together bouquet of lavender to him.  “I saw you looking at it earlier so I...well...please, take it with you.”

Yuuri almost did, his hand twitching up.  It was so beautiful and so close.  If it was just a dream, it’d be alright, wouldn’t it?  

“I can’t,” Yuuri said, regret saturating his tone.  “Someone might see.  They’d know.”

“Then just one,” Viktor said quickly, slipping one out and offering it, palm open.  

Yuuri looked at it in Viktor’s beautiful hands.  He couldn’t help it.  One he could easily hide.  He took it.

“Thank you,” he murmured shyly.

Yuuri was rewarded with the brightest smile he’d ever seen.  “Um.  Tomorrow?”  Viktor asked, fingers wringing the bouquet of flowers nervously.  “Won’t you come?”

Yuuri stared.  “Well,” he cleared his throat.  “Since this is a dream, then...yes.  During my break.  Noon.”

“I’ll be here,” Viktor nodded eagerly.

The next day, Yuuri fully expected to wake up to the same monotonous everyday he had come to expect.  He didn’t even let himself hope, he just mourned the dream silently, slapped a hand to his face while groaning, and pushed himself off the bed.  

“Did you hear about Augustus?”  Mari said when he was almost ready to go out the door.

He closed his eyes.  Augustus was Mari’s good friend.  Her tone was dark and resigned.  “...Is he alright?”

“No.”

Yuuri pressed his lips together as the last of the dream's lingering kiss was stripped of him.  This was reality.  It was sharp as a dagger, tearing his heart open with loss.  

“Can I do anything to help?  His wife -?”

Mari bit her lip and looked away.  “She wanted me to ask you to pass a message onto the royal family.  It wasn’t really something I should repeat.”

“I think I’ve got the gist of it,” Yuuri said softly.  “I’m sorry, Mari.  I liked Augustus.”

“Yeah, well,” she heaved a bitter sigh.  “...Thanks, Yuuri.  They really don’t care, do they?”

It was hard to breathe as he walked the snowy hill, pressing his lips together tightly.  He missed Phichit’s presence beside him, but their schedules didn’t always match up.  His absence made him think of Mari and her friend, and how it was always just the luck of the draw for who was lost next.  

He wished he could have more of those dreams.  Reality was draining and dream-Viktor had been so sweet.  It had been so beautiful in that garden...  The lavender sprig Viktor had handed him made him smile.  He felt into his pocket, where he had stored his piece of lavender in his dream - and then froze.

His fingers touched something dry and long.

No.

No way.

It couldn’t be.

He pulled it out with shaking hands.  The lavender sprig, a bit squashed, a bit withered, but still clinging to life.   It was in his hands.

He blinked, slowly putting it away, out of sight.  His head hurt. 

Even then he hardly allowed himself to believe it.

He could barely contain himself until his lunch break when he had a small window to sneak into the garden to see.  Was it a dream?  Was he magical?  Could he rip things out of dreams?  It seemed more plausible than actually meeting and talking with _the_ Prince Viktor.  The very Prince Viktor who could talk to animals and cure all illnesses.  At least, the very Prince Viktor that Phichit had painted.

Yuuri’s hand trembled as it hovered in front of the door blocking him from the music.  He could hear it softly floating through the air, casual and pleasant.  His stomach flipped as he knocked.

And just like in his dream, the door opened to a beautiful angel.  Yuuri was in shock all over again.

Worse, actually, as he realized that his dream had _not_ been a dream.  He could've peed himself right then and there.

 _Pinch me_ , he thought, staring open-mouthed at Viktor.

“Yuuri!”  Viktor cried happily, tossing his arms around the knight.  “Come in, come in!”

“You’re real,” Yuuri breathed, fingers still clutching to the single sprig of lavender.  

Viktor noticed it, eyes falling to his hand and then back up to Yuuri’s face.  His cheeks flushed with pleasure.  “And so are you.  You kept the flower.”

“I thought...it was a dream.”

Viktor grabbed him by the arms and brought him in, closing the door behind them and very nearly dancing circles around him.  “I came up with a new song!”  Viktor said excitedly, racing up the hill.  “Care to hear it?”

Yuuri wandered back in, shy and uncertain.  He nodded, the movement very small.  “I’d love to.”  

The song felt just like Viktor danced - excited and youthful, beautiful and pure.  Yuuri was enthralled.  It was over too soon.

“You inspired it,” Viktor smiled, slipping off the seat by the harp and folding his limbs into a seating position right in front of Yuuri.  "Let’s get to know each other."  

He leaned in, the both of them underneath the tree’s gentle shadow.  The leaves fluttered somehow, shifting the light around their faces in patches.  Yuuri wondered about this, since they were obviously inside, where wind shouldn’t reach, right?  That harp sat there so innocently.

“Can I ask you questions?”  Viktor said.

“Um. Sure.”

And Viktor began to ask random questions of Yuuri.  Did he have siblings?  Did he play an instrument?  What was his favorite color?  

It went on like this for days, Viktor asking small and simple random questions.  Yuuri’s lunch break was short but precious.  Each day Yuuri would hurry to the garden so he could listen to a short song and then be questions by a positively excited little angel.

“What’s your favorite food?”  Viktor asked one day.

“My favorite food?”  Yuuri asked blankly as he bit into piece of dry bread.

“Yes, of course.  Is it a weird thing to mention?”  He frowned, thinking hard on proper social etiquette for villagers.

“I like anything,” Yuuri said quickly, noticing the small piece of fuzzy mold on a corner of his bread.  He sighed and flicked it off, muttering, “As long as it doesn’t make me sick.”

“Not picky, hm?”  Viktor didn't notice, thankfully, as he reached up to the tree’s branches to pluck an apple off.  He brought it to his lips as he watched Yuuri.

Yuuri shrugged.  “Food doesn’t come as frequently as we’d like.  Since I became a knight, we do have more money and that helps, but still, the village can only provide so much.  Money is still just a coin you can’t eat.”

Viktor frowned.  “Infrequently?  How often?”

Yuuri cleared his throat awkwardly.  He felt pathetic underneath the prince’s gaze.  His gangly body suddenly seemed more prominent than before.  He was a worm in the presence of a mighty king.  “...Uh,” he forced out.  “It’s better now...”

“You eat everyday, though?”

Yuuri was relieved he could now nod for that.  “Yes.”

“Breakfast, lunch, and dinner?”

Oh.  He bit his lip.  “I eat just fine, Viktor.  Stop being such a worrier.”

“You’re alright, aren’t you?”

Yuuri almost nodded his head.  He was eager to end the conversation.  But then he had to look into Viktor’s eyes.

There was real concern there, his heart was on display, earnest and reaching for the truth.  He remembered all the people in their village who suffered and longed for the help of royalty, and here was Viktor, leaning in, hands on Yuuri’s knee, asking.

Yuuri murmured, feeling slightly guilty for some reason.  “...Some people don’t get to eat everyday.  We try to help each other out.  We used to go hungry for days sometimes, so we know what it’s like.  But sometimes people get sick and...it’s not good.”

He leaned forward, whispering, “It’s really that bad?”

Yuuri nodded.  “...You didn’t know?”

Viktor’s eyes were shining.  He looked so lost.  “She...the queen always told me there were animals to be hunted out there.”

“Wolves maybe, but we can't hope to fight against them.  Rarely are there rabbits and foxes.  Deer are even fewer.”

“And nothing grows?”

“Nothing.”  

Viktor’s face was crumpling.  Yuuri said quickly, “Let’s not talk about this anymore.  What about you?  What sort of food do you like?”

This was apparently the wrong thing to ask.  Yuuri had quickly grasped onto anything to get Viktor talking again.  But instead, Viktor just looked horrified.  “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“It’s just...how it’s always been...”  Yuuri mumbled, feeling awkward and embarrassed again.

Before, as a child, he had foolishly thought that Viktor would come to save them from their fates, and all along, Viktor hadn’t even known.  And now that he did, Yuuri realized even more how foolish he had been.  Viktor was just a child himself too.  What could Yuuri even ask of him to fix this?  He didn’t know.  Viktor may be strange and wonderful, but he couldn’t just sprout animals from the ground.  Probably.

“What else?”  Viktor asked, grasping onto Yuuri’s hand as if it were a lifeline.  “Tell me everything.”

Yuuri hesitated.  Already, Viktor’s eyes were wide and pained, his mouth turned down in a grimace, his complexion somehow even more pale than before, purged of all color.  

“Please, Yuuri,” Viktor murmured softly.  “This will be my village one day.  Your friends are my friends.  I want to know how I can help.”

So Yuuri told him, after a fashion.  He knew Viktor was earnest with the best intentions, he could see it printed plainly in Viktor’s eyes.  But Viktor was innocent.  He was pure and untouched by the world.  If he had seen all the blood that Yuuri had, it’d kill him.

So Yuuri eased him into it; he told him of their suffering, but he did it in vague terms.   _They were lost to the storm, they were so hungry they couldn’t go on_.  He didn’t tell Viktor of how it wasn’t always a sudden merciful death, how he could see his friends shrivel before his eyes as they starved slowly, everyday, a little worse.  The dark circles under their eyes that consumed them until their bodies were gave out completely.  Or the fear, the palpation, every time a loved one left the house, thinking of that all-consuming white, unstoppable by no one.  Blizzards could be so unpredictable sometimes.

He didn’t say that.  Viktor’s eyes were already glistening with tears, his heart almost audibly breaking.  He had dreamt sometimes that he’d be able to tell everything to Viktor.  Tell him of all the pain and then he’d come down and fix things.  He had always thought it’d be a relief to tell Viktor the truth of their village.  But now, looking at Viktor’s face was just...

Yuuri just...

He couldn’t bear to say anymore, to see the wound he was creating in Viktor torn open any wider, so he stopped.  Maybe for another day, when Viktor was ready.  

“I want to go see,” Viktor said.

“I thought you couldn’t leave the castle.”  Yuuri asked in surprise.

“No.  No, Queen Lilia won’t let me.”  But there was something churning in Viktor’s eyes.  An idea.  

Yuuri saw it and spoke of something else.  “Won’t you play something?”

Viktor agreed with a small nod of his head, but even that didn’t bring solace.  Viktor’s music saddened with his mood.  The harp cried gently as he closed his eyes and cradled it as if they were both damaged.

Yuuri watched.  It was as if the song brought rain and darkened the sky.

Later, when Viktor started becoming more himself,  Yuuri asked.  “How old are you, Your Highness?  I keep thinking you’re the same age as me, but sometimes you look younger.  Sometimes you look older.”

“Seventeen.  How old are you, Knight Yuuri Katsuki?”  Viktor grinned when Yuuri shot him a sharp look.

“That again?  I’d feel weird calling you by your given name,” Yuuri explains.

“I feel weird hearing you call me by that stiff title.  We’re friends, aren’t we?  Please, in the name of our friendship.”

Yuuri cringed at the very idea.

“Please, as your prince, I’m _begging you_ ,” Viktor plead, clasping his hands together and raising them.

Yuuri heaved a sigh.  “ _Fine_.  I’m sixteen.  Prince Viktor.”

Viktor smiled.  “An improvement!  I’ll take it!  Knight Yuuri.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Now you know how I feel!”

Yuuri laughed, free and open.  He usually never felt free and open.

Several more weeks passed by.  

Viktor realized very quickly that Yuuri had an affinity for flowers, so he brought him around the garden each day and taught him all the names and uses for each plant.  Yuuri was endlessly amazed by how many uses flowers had in addition to being pretty.  Viktor wanted to give Yuuri all the flowers in the world, but Yuuri was forced to decline the spectacular bouquets Viktor tried to throw his way.  He only allowed himself that single sprig of lavender that he carefully hid underneath his cot, out of sight.  It was his favorite.  It was more than he should’ve taken back outside the castle walls, but he couldn’t help himself.  It reminded him of a life beyond the white cold snow, the hopeless monotony.

One thing was becoming increasingly clear to Yuuri: Viktor was Yuuri’s little secret.  He would fight tooth and nail to keep it hidden from everyone.  

This surprised him.  He'd never kept secrets before, not like this.  He hadn’t even told Phichit, who was curious whenever Yuuri would scamper past during break, but not quite suspicious.   Yuuri lied to him, telling him there was a spot down there where he liked to eat lunch.  He tried to convince himself that he _was_ technically eating lunch, so he wasn’t exactly lying, but the guilt was still there.  How could he tell Phichit or his family that he was talking to Prince Viktor?  He wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to.  Viktor obviously was delighted by it, but it seemed the queen had him on a tight leash - a prisoner in his own home.  Yuuri was sure if she knew Viktor was meeting everyday with someone as dirty and common as Yuuri, that’d be the end of it.  Yuuri didn’t think that he could take it if he lost Viktor, if this all was forced to become nothing more than a dream.

He had begun to depend on these little meetings.  No matter how boring or painful it was to stand in the hallways everyday, all day, he felt life beat through him once more the second he saw Viktor atop the hill in the garden, perched so elegantly behind his harp, fingers glancing across them gently, his eyes closed as he felt his way through the song, beautiful, so untouchable.  

Yuuri’s life wouldn’t be complete if he didn’t have that, so he kept the secret only to himself, close to his heart, giving him life.

Viktor would be only his.  He wanted to be selfless on everything, that had always been his goal.  But this time, he allowed himself one bit of selfishness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...How the heck do people write so much so quickly...? Dang. I have so much respect for those fan fic writers who are releasing full-out polished novels in half a month. 
> 
> Anyway, Viktor's finally here. ( ´♡` ) I feel now things can finally start to BEGIN. ...ilovehimsomuch.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can we go in?”
> 
> “Umm...” He wasn’t sure if anyone would be home, but the risk seemed a good enough reason to stay away. 
> 
> Viktor pointed to his hat with one hand, the other still twined through Yuuri’s arm. “See my disguise? No one will know.”

 

 

* * *

Eleven months later

* * *

 

Viktor’s hair fell like silk around him as he bent beside a bushel of lavender.  He was humming softly as he leaned into them, snipping a few off and collecting them in his hands.  Their scent wafted through the air, calm and peaceful, like the stars out early in the evening sky.

Sharp footsteps cut through grass.  

“Good afternoon, Yurio,” Viktor sang softly, not taking his eyes away from the task.

“What are you doing in those bushes again?”  Yuri spat, stopping a few feet from Viktor.  “You never liked them before.”

“Hm.  They tend to grow on you, don’t they?”

“Not a bit.  I like this one better.”

Viktor flicked his glance over as he tied a bushel of lavender together with string.  He chuckled.  “How like you.  Nepeta cataria.  Your cat probably doesn’t like it even as much as you.”

Yurio snorted without heat, kicking his feet around in boredom, eyes shifting around.  “You seem different lately.”

“Different?”  Viktor asked before he resumed humming.

“I dunno...”  Yurio mumbled, walking around the garden cautiously, like he expected the plants to attack him.  He continued wandering around without aim., flicking flowers and inspecting leaves with a critical eye.

“What’s up with you?”  Viktor inquired, looking up curiously at Yurio.

“Nothing,” he grunted.

A knowing smile was playing on Viktor’s lips as he set that bushel down and went to work on another.

“ _More_ lavender?”  Yurio complained.  “How much do you need?  Seriously.”

“Don’t ruin my fun.”

“No one can ever do that.  Look at you.  Always smiling like a fool.”

Viktor chuckled.  “Did you come here to insult me or did you have a reason?”

“Do I need a reason?”  Yurio muttered in dejection, eyes growing dark and gloomy.  

Viktor looked up in surprise, words forming on his lips before he discarded them.  Cleared his throat.  He knew what it felt like to live inside the castle walls.  He was a prisoner too.  “Of course not.  It’s always wonderful seeing you in here.  I thought you hated it.”

“I do.  You overdo it with these flowers.  It’s ridiculous.  And all that racket you make with that _instrument thing_ -”

“-You know it’s a harp, Yurio -”

“- Thinking you can do whatever the heck you think you can do on it.  It’s why Mother hates you, you know.  She thinks you’re deluded and should be tossed in a crazy cell.  No one is ever going to come.  You can’t _summon_ people with your _instrument thing._  It’s pathetic.  Give it up.”

“Never tell a musician to give up their music, little brother of mine.  You’ll understand one day, when you find someone you love.  It’s quite like that.”

“Not like you would know.”

Viktor smiled widely, his eyes not quite matching.  “Whether I do or not, it doesn’t matter.  I love playing my harp even if creating music is all it ever does.”

“No one can love anything as much as you love that harp,” Yurio muttered.  He tossed a disgruntled look up at it, sitting on the hill where it caught the sun and shone with melted gold.

“I thought it was an ‘instrument thing’,” Viktor grinned.

Yurio tsked.  

The mound of cut lavender on the ground was growing bigger as Viktor added another.  “Have you tried your lyre?”

Yurio went over to grab a bundle of lavender, plucking the flowers off the stem and sprinkling them onto the floor.  “Yeah, right.  Like I still even have that thing.  You give the worst birthday presents, I swear.  I threw it out in the mud the second I had the chance.”

Viktor’s face mellowed, the smile fading.  Mist instead of a storm.  His voice softened.  “Tell me you didn’t.”

“What does it matter to you?  You gave it to me to do what I wanted with it, right?”

“...Yurio,” Viktor said, finally taking his attention off the flowers and standing up to his full height, looking down at his younger brother.  His hands dropped to his sides, one full of flowers and the other caked with dirt.  “Where is it?”  He asked, reaching out to place his hand on Yurio’s shoulder.  “Where did you put it, Yurio?”

Yurio recoiled violently, anger flaring in his eyes.  “Don’t touch me with your dirty hands.  Mud everywhere - you’re worse than the villagers down below!  I told you where the lyre was!  It’s not like it matters, does it?  It was a stupid gift.  You and your damn music all the time...it's the only thing that gets your attention.  It won’t do anything, you know.  You can’t bring her back!”

“...Yurio...”  The smile was gone from Viktor’s face completely.  “That’s not...”

Yurio jammed his hands into his pockets and spun angrily.  He stormed off, trampling over the flowers.   “You never care about me.”

“That’s not true, Yurio.”

“Yes, it is.”

Yurio disappeared out the door, leaving behind a stony silence.  

Viktor stood there for a few moments, staring after him.  He sighed finally, picking his posture back up and turning back to the flowers.  

“Sorry, Yuuri,” he said into the air.  “I know I always say he isn’t that much of a brat but he’s eager to prove me wrong, isn’t he?”

Yuuri slid out from the top of the tree, landing on the ground with a soft thump.  

Viktor didn’t even look up.  

He walked over to Viktor, plucking a flower from a bush as he made his way over.  This was the first time Yuuri had seen Viktor without a smile in his eyes.  Yuuri had wondered before what it might look like, the sun not shining.  It clawed a cave in his chest.  It hurt him more than he thought it would.  

Yuuri carefully peeled the thorns off the rose in his hand, and as gently as he could, he slipped the rose over Viktor’s ear.  It suited him; it brought the rosiness out in his cheeks and lips.  Everything about him was a perfect complement to it.  Yuuri asked softly, “You okay?”

Viktor looked up, smiling briefly, his eyes round and sad.  “Yes.  Yurio is...well, he’s Yurio.  He’s my brother and I love him, but sometimes I just...  We don’t see eye-to-eye.”

“He doesn’t look much like you.”

“No.  We have the same father but Lilia is his mother.”  He swallowed hard.  “He has more of Lilia in him than I’d like.  ...But he’s not her.  I just...”  

He sighed heavily, slipping the rose from his ear into his hands and watching it as he twirled it between his fingers.  “That was my mother’s lyre.  He could’ve at least given it back instead of throwing it away.”

“...I’m sorry, Viktor.”

“Don’t be,” he sighed, walking up the hill and sitting at his harp’s side.  “It’s not your fault.  I don’t have much of her left, but I’ll always have this harp,” he hummed, a bit of happiness seeping into his tone as he ran his fingers along the familiar curves.  “Care for another song?”

“You know I always love a song,” Yuuri said, taking his usual spot.  Viktor didn’t mention his mother much, but when he did, he was filled with longing and sadness.  It was in his eyes now, Yuuri could see it even through the smile Viktor was trying to brave.  It was nestled there, to be put off until later, when he was alone and when it was dark and when Yuuri couldn’t help him.  Yuuri bit his lip.  “Viktor...?”

“Yes, Yuuri?”

“You’ve been pestering me a lot about showing you around outside lately.”

Viktor laughed and nodded.  “You never give in.  You’re stubborn, Yuuri.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking.  Maybe we can, after all.”

Hope and light flooded Viktor’s eyes.  His fingers slowed over the strings.  “Really?  I thought you said it wasn’t safe for me.”

“If we’re careful.  We can’t get caught by any guards.  But none come to the village anymore...  Well, besides Phichit and me, of course.”  The rest of the knights preferred living in the castle.

Viktor nodded eagerly.  “I’ll be careful!  I’ll wear a hat so no one can see my hair.”

Viktor’s whole appearance spoke of the angelic, but Yuuri didn’t mention it.  Viktor had brightened like a puppy dog about to go for a walk.  His eyes were twinkling again.  Yuuri let out a sigh of relief.  

“When do you want to go?”  Yuuri asked.

“Oh, as soon as possible!  I can’t wait!  Will you show me your home?  Will it be snowy?”

Yuuri laughed softly.  “Of course.”

Yuuri’s next day off, he woke earlier than usual, butterflies in his stomach.  He had meant to wait a bit later, but he was up now, and he knew Viktor would be too, so he went to the castle to seek him out in the garden.  

It was just his luck that he happened to bump into Phichit along the way.

“Yuuri!”  Phichit crowed happily, smile bright.  “Where’s your uniform?  Oh, wait.  Isn’t today your day off?”

“Hey, Phichit.  Um, yeah, I just...forgot something.”

Phichit’s brow furrowed.  “...Over here?”

“Uh, yes.  Where I eat my lunch.  You know.”

“Where _do_ you eat your lunch?  I’ve looked for a good spot that way and there’s nothing.”

“Oh, it’s just a nice little secluded area.  You know.  It gets noisy in the mess hall.”

“...Yuuri?”

Yuuri pressed his lips together tightly and looked up at Phichit’s face.  They had grown up together.  He told Phichit everything and he knew he could trust him.  

It wasn’t about trust this time, it was about Viktor and safety and secrets.  Phichit would never tell.  He knew that.  But having anyone else know was one person too many.  

“Yes?”  Yuuri asked, voice tight with apprehension.

Phichit stared for a moment, and Yuuri stupidly worried he could read his mind.  Phichit let out a small breath.  “Nevermind, Yuuri.  I’ve got to go.  Be careful, yeah?”

“I-I always am...”  Yuuri murmured, looking back after Phichit’s retreating figure.  He let out a shaky breath and pushed on.  

Viktor was wearing a bumpy knitted hat, his silver hair tucked carefully into it, and about five layers of thick jackets.  He was so carefully equipped for the snow that he looked more like a marshmallow than a person.  It was such a silly sight that Yuuri couldn’t help but laugh when he came into the garden, previous worries about Phichit completely diminished.  

“Do you love the hat?”  Viktor laughed along with him, somehow managing to twirl in all those clothes.  “I know it’s horrible.  I tried my hand at knitting awhile back ago.  It was my first try.”

“Your first?  Well, now I feel bad.  That’s really good.  Better than I could do.”

“It’s lumpy, isn’t it?”  Viktor poked it.  

“I like it.  You would look good in anything.  Ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready for years!  I know a secret passageway.  Let me show you.”  He turned.

“Wait -”  Yuuri said.  

Viktor turned, curious.  

“Should you really show me?  I mean...secret passageways are for you in case of emergencies.  To protect you from outsiders or rogue guards.  Have you told anyone else?”

Viktor shrugged, not understanding.  “No, but you’re my friend.”

“You shouldn’t be so trusting.  What if I have secret intentions?  Bad ones?”

“You don’t.  I’d know.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to know.  People can be good liars.  I’m just trying to say...you need to be careful.   _I know_ I’m not trying to hurt you, but what if someone else was?  You’re the prince after all.”

A smile grew across Viktor’s face.  “Aw, you worry about me.”

“I do...  Just let me lead us out.  It’ll be fine.”  

“If that’s what you think is best.  The secret passageway leads into the sewers on the east end anyway, so we would smell awful.  There’s a broken grate at the end.  You go right through.”

Yuuri groaned.  “ _Viktor_.  You can’t keep a secret, can you...?”

“Of course I can, but I trust you.”

Yuuri sighed.  “Please be more careful with secrets like that.  What if something were to happen?  Can you even protect yourself?”

Viktor’s smile turned coy.  “I know some moves.”

“You do?”  Yuuri tried to be serious to get his point across, but he couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of him.  “I can’t imagine you hurting a fly,” he said fondly.  “Come on, let me show you out.  I have my own way.”

It was all just sneaking, but Yuuri was decent at it.  He knew where all the guards were stationed, and now that he was on high alert, he didn’t run into anyone in the hall like he had Phichit earlier.  Soon, they were home free.  

“Thank god,” Yuuri breathed in relief as they crunched through the snow, heading the side of the pathway up, in the cover of the dead trees, or at least as much as they could provide.  He tossed a coy side glance in Viktor’s direction.  “I was worried I’d have to see some of your ‘moves’.”

“Ha!  You might be surprised, you know.  A king is expected to know how to fight.”

“You’re a prince.”

“Silly Yuuri, what do you think kings are before they rule the country?  When I turn eighteen, which is only in a few weeks, I will become king.”

Yuuri blinked.  Thinking about it, he guessed it made sense.  The Queen right now was just a fill-in, she didn’t have a drop of royal blood in her veins.  Viktor did, but he was so _Viktor_ to Yuuri.  It was like Mari one day saying she was going to rule the world.  Mari, who had to be told by their mother constantly to do simple things like brush her hair.  Mari, who would complain she was freezing but wouldn’t wear socks.  He could see Viktor doing that too.  He hummed thoughtfully.  “Is that how it works?”

“Here, at least.  ...Lilia won’t be too pleased.  I’m a little worried honestly.”

Yuuri sniffed, rubbing the end of his cold nose.  “You two don’t get along?”

“She’s cold.  Like a snake.  My father was lonely, I think, so he married her, and now she likes her position, her power.  She thinks I’m unfit to rule - she always has - but it’s not up to her.”

Yuuri tried to imagine it - Viktor ruling over a country, crown upon his head and sitting proper and bold on his throne, spewing orders.  Yuuri bit his lip.  Viktor was too naive, too sweet to know the true horrors of the world.  It would break him.

As Yuuri thought this, Viktor flopped back into a pile of snow, giggling to himself.  His hat flew off and his long hair spilled out like a river of melted silver.

“Look, Yuuri!  I’m making a snow angel!  Come make one with me!”

“Viktor!"  Yuuri fussed, going over to the hat to snatch it off the snow.  "You’ll get your hair all wet and catch a cold!  Be careful!”

Viktor just laughed.  He rolled up off the snow and stood, walking beside Yuuri.  He put his hands and his lips and looked down proudly at the angel.

Yuuri pulled the hat over Viktor's head, poking the hair back in.  Satisfied, he turned and inspected the snow angel closely with Viktor, nodding to himself thoughtfully as if it were a finished work of art.  “It looks like you.”

“My first self portrait then,” Viktor chuckled, breathless.  “Now your turn.”  

Yuuri was caught by surprise as he felt both of Viktor’s hand push him on the back.  He stumbled forward into the snow, face-first.

“ _Viktor_ !”  He yelled, pulling himself up.  He was irritated at first, people from the village just didn’t _do_ stuff like that.  Getting wet and cold meant getting sick and getting sick meant catching your death.  

But when he turned around and saw Viktor clutching at his stomach tightly, face crinkled up and head tossed back in a fit of laughter, warmth rushed through Yuuri’s body and his breath left his lungs.

He wanted to see Viktor like that always...  

Yuuri smiled fondly, rolling onto his back and letting himself lay in the thick layers of snow.  

“You should see your _face_ ,”  Viktor laughed, flicking away tears.  “You have a snow mustache.”

“I wouldn’t talk.  Your nose is as red as a tomato.”

Viktor laughed harder.  

“Oh my god,”  Yuuri laughed.  “It’s not that funny.”

“It really is,” Viktor said, making a valiant effort to collect himself.  He took in a happy breath before plopping down into his snow angel form again.  “Let’s be angels together, Yuuri.”

“Okay, okay.”  

They both shuffled snow aside with their arms and legs and then stood again, looking down at their work.

Viktor nodded, a pleased smile on his lips.  “We make the best angels.”

Yuuri rose his eyebrows.  Even his snow angel looked like a blob.  “You do maybe.”

“Don’t be silly, so do you.”

Viktor turned around, looking out toward the horizon.  A grin split across his face.  “Let’s keep going!  We’re close!  I can see it!”

“Not so fast.  Stay close to me.  Wolves come out sometimes and I want to be near in case they do.”

“Yuuri!  My knight in shining armor!  I’m so embarrassed!”  He fell dramatically at Yuuri, forcing Yuuri to catch him in his arms.  

Viktor stared up at Yuuri, grinning madly.  They were close.  Closer than they usually got, and Yuuri was literally cradling Viktor in his arms.  Yuuri’s eyes grew wide.

“ _Y-you’re_ embarrassed?”  Yuuri spluttered, face burning red as he scrambled to right Viktor.  “What about me!  ‘Knight in shining armor’!  Don’t say things like that!”

Viktor laughed, dancing down the hill, arms flinging out like a child’s as he spun in circles.  A fairy, maybe.  A king, no.  Yuuri smiled fondly.  

“Have you ever been ice skating, Viktor?  I’d bet you’d be good at it.”

“Ice skating!  I’ve heard of it.  Yurio loves it.  He could live on the ice probably.”

“He gets to go out, but you don’t?”

Viktor nodded, not turning around as he replied. There was something odd in his voice as he spoke again, but Yuuri couldn’t see his face.  “Things are different for him.  If Lilia could have her way, she’d make him king.  The queen actually likes him.”

“Well, I like you.  We’ll skate together.  There’s a lake behind my house.  Our feet look about the same size.  You can borrow mine and I’ll take my sister’s.  O-or is that gross?”

“I’d be delighted, Yuuri!  Let’s go!”  

“Good,” Yuuri mumbled happily.  

The Viktor Yuuri had imagined when he was a child had been different, sure.  Yuuri had had so many daydreams of the noble prince befriending him on the streets, of Yuuri having the opportunity to invite him inside their house, share a meal with him.  That Viktor had been made of ice, eyes cool and collected, smile regal and full of timeless knowledge.  He had idolized that dream.

This Viktor was real.  As they walked around the side of his village, feet crunching through snow, Viktor’s eyes were so wide they seemed to glow.  His smile was full to the brim with excitement Yuuri thought he might pop at anytime.  Yuuri wasn’t sure he’d ever seen an expression like that before on any other person.  He hadn’t known anyone could feel such genuine warmth and happiness, but there it was on Viktor’s pure face, clear in the day’s bright sunlight.  He was looking around as if life were a treasure, but all Yuuri saw was his sad little village, broken and tired and grey.

How did Viktor see such beauty in everything?  

An emotion flooded through Yuuri as he watched Viktor’s bright-eyed enthusiasm, but it was unfamiliar and strange.  He tried to push it away, out of his chest as it rose and filled him, but it would not go.  He took in a shuddering breath and turned away, cheeks hot and palms sweaty.

Viktor grabbed onto Yuuri’s arm and jumped up on the tips of his toes.  “Oh, Yuuri, look at those little cottages!  Is one yours?  Which one?”

Yuuri pointed, cheeks red.  “More of a shack than a cottage, but...”

“It’s so cute!  Can we go in?”

“Umm...”  He wasn’t sure if anyone would be home, but the risk seemed a good enough reason to stay away.  

But then again, he did need the skates and he couldn’t just leave Viktor on his own.  He’d come back to find Viktor bounced off like a rabbit.

Viktor pointed to his hat with one hand, the other still twined through Yuuri’s arm.  “See my disguise?  No one will know.”

“Everyone knows everyone in this village.”

“But not in the castle.  Come on, Yuuri!  Don’t keep me waiting, I’m in agony!”  Viktor pulled Yuuri along before he could answer, plowing ahead like a bulldog.  

“In here,” Yuuri said, slipping them quickly between houses and lunging for his door.  They were inside before two seconds passed.  

It seemed colder inside than it was outside and the fire wasn’t going, nor the lanterns, so it looked even more dank than Yuuri usually thought it did.  He was suddenly starkly aware of the cracks running through the walls, up to his ceiling, and the way there was no carpet, no plush rugs covering the floor.  The pot hanging above the fireplace was messy and hadn’t been cleaned, the ladle left abandoned on the ground.  Their entire house was not even an eighth of the size of the garden.  

Yuuri couldn’t stand to watch Viktor as he looked around curiously, small light footsteps prancing around as if this were actually _interesting_ to look at.

“I-it’s not much,” Yuuri mumbled.  “But it’s home.”

“It’s so cute!”  Viktor said, and Yuuri blushed harder because that had to be pity, and if Viktor was giving him pity-compliments then Yuuri was far more pathetic than he had hoped.  

 _Just say it’s disgusting_ , Yuuri almost wished.  At least then he’d be telling the truth.

“Just like the story books!”  Viktor was bouncing around.  “Which one is your bed?”

“Erm, this one...”

Viktor tossed himself onto it, laying his head back on the pillow without abandon.

Yuuri’s eyes widened.  He froze.  

Viktor closed his eyes and hummed, a small smile on his lips.  “It smells like you,” he said softly.

It looked all wrong.  The bed was grey and gross and old and Yuuri hated it.  It was where he crawled into the corner each night like a rat, scrambling for survival on the scraps he could pull together only just well enough to survive.  And Viktor.  Was Lying.  On it.  

The Prince.  It was dirty.  It was toxic.  And Viktor, the stunning, beautiful Viktor, was going to be tainted.

“Ah -” Yuuri stepped forward to say something, hand outstretched.

Viktor’s eyes opened, so content, so happy.  “Yes?”  He asked innocently.

“U-um...  It’s...dirty...”

“Hm?”  Viktor turned his head, casually inspecting the blankets and shrugging.  “This is dirty to you?  You should see Yurio’s sheets.  His cat sleeps with him and brings in dead mice sometimes.  It’s gruesome.”

“I...  Um...”  He didn’t know what he was doing.  He wanted to think about anything else but Viktor seeing his home.  This couldn’t be real, and not in the awe-filled sense.  He couldn’t believe he had ever dreamed for this to happen.  Now that it was, it was awful.

Viktor hummed again, content.  He closed his eyes and sighed happily.  “I like your home, Yuuri,” he said drowsily.

Yuuri watched, allowing himself to calm down.  He tried to force himself to see it wasn’t Viktor who had the problem, but himself.  Viktor saw the beauty in everything and he really believed it.  So why wouldn't he love it here?  

Yuuri let out a shaky breath.  This was okay.  Viktor being in his home...it was more than okay.  

He bent and knelt beside the bed, feeling his way underneath the frame.  

He pulled out the dried piece of lavender.  “I keep it with me,” he said, voice gentle.

Viktor's eyes growing wide in shock, his jaw falling opening.

Oh, god.

Yuuri blushed immediately, scrambling to slip the flower back underneath the bed.  He couldn’t believe he just did that.  It was so corny.  Who did he think he was to be able to pull off something like that?  

He pushed his glasses back to his face awkwardly, coughing into his hand.

Viktor opened his mouth to say something, but embarrassment rose high into Yuuri’s throat, threatening to drown him and he scrambled. “Skates!  I’ll get them!”

“Yuuri-”

“-Mari keeps them in her chest!  Though if she finds out I’ve gone through it, she’ll be so angry with me...”

Viktor laughed.  “ _Yuuri_ , I -”

“-Ah, here’s a photo!  Want to see a picture of them?”

“I...”  Viktor blinked.  “You have a photo?  I’d love to.”

Yuuri sighed in relief.  He was thankful Viktor was so easy to distract.  He shuffled over on his knees, handing the picture to Viktor.  It was a dorky photo, but it wasn’t as if there were a drawerful to choose from.  “That’s my mother and father and then my sister and me.  This was taken a few years ago.”

“They look so nice.  You’re so happy.”  He laughed.  “Look at those cheeks!  You’re still just a baby.  Is that a dog?”

“Yes!  Vicchan!  He was...  He was a good boy.  You would’ve really liked him.”

“Vicchan?”  Viktor asked, tilting his head.  

“Yes.”  Yuuri blushed again.  “I-I’ll get the skates...”

The frozen lake used to be where they’d fish in hopes of a bite, but it’d been frozen solid for years now.  Yuuri wondered how many fish were stuck in time beneath the surface.  Would they survive if the ice ever thawed?  

He tightly tied Mari’s skates onto his feet and then went over to Viktor to help him.  “You do it like this.  See?  Are they snug?”

“Very snug.”

“As long as it doesn’t hurt.”  

“You won’t let me fall, will you?”  Viktor bit his lip as he looked out at the wide open lake.  

Yuuri chuckled lowly.  “You just pushed me into the snow.”

Viktor’s mouth popped open.  “That was...the snow was soft!”

“Yeah, yeah.”  Yuuri rose and offered Viktor a hand.  “At your service, Your Majesty.”

Viktor smiled coyly.  “So you _won’t_ let me fall then?”

“We’ll see.”

“ _Yuuuuuuuri!”_ Viktor whined, snatching onto Yuuri like a lifeline.  He was laughing nervously, hyperaware of the strangeness he felt as his feet glided rather than walked.  It was so smooth, so fast, so -

“Whoa!”  Viktor’s feet slid out from underneath him and he plummeted straight for the ice.  

Yuuri grabbed him by the arms firmly, skating around Viktor so he could lead him backwards.  “Lean into where you’re going.  It’s intuitive.  You can do it.”

“You make it look so easy.”

“Actually, the first time I was on the ice, I couldn’t even do half of what you’re doing.  You’re amazing.  I don’t know why I’m surprised...  Do you realize we’re actually skating already?”

“Falling more like!”

“No, you’re not.  You’re barely leaning on me.”

Viktor shot Yuuri a look.  “Just don’t let go of me yet...”

Yuuri licked his lips and watched Viktor’s hands clutch to his arms.  They were close again, the air so cold that he could see their breath puff into their air, white small little clouds.  

Viktor was so beautiful.  In the cold, in Yuuri’s world, he looked different, sharper, more real.  His cheeks were flushed and his nose was shining red it was so cold, but the _colors_.  His face was so full of colors...  That startling blue of his eyes down to the pink on his smiling lips.  

“-Yuuri?”

Yuuri snapped his attention back up.  “Mm?”

Viktor laughed on a small breath. “I was asking how often you skate.”

“Oh.  Um, it used to be a few times a month, but I haven’t lately.  I’ve been hanging out with a certain prince.”

Viktor’s smile was so sweet that Yuuri had to manually force himself to breathe.

“We should do this more often,” Viktor said.  “Can you do more than this?”

Yuuri smiled.  When he was younger, he hadn’t found much to be confident in, but if he had to choose one thing, it’d be ice skating.  

Viktor chuckled.  “Oh ho, I see a little spark in your eye.  Should I prepare to be amazed?”

Yuuri chuckled too.  “We’ll see,” he said softly.  “You have good footing?”

“I’ll be okay,” Viktor nodded.  

Yuuri let go, watching Viktor for any signs of unsteadiness, but he held fast.  “Nice,” Yuuri grinned.  “You’re a natural.”

He skated away easily, loving the way the wind blew past him just like Viktor’s music.  It was everywhere and all around him all at once.  

He called out to Viktor, “Remember me telling you about my friend Phichit?  He and I used to skate together and make our own choreography.  Want to see?”

“More than anything!”  Viktor waved back excitedly.

It wasn’t as if he had a certain prodigal musician to compose songs for his choreography, but he knew what made him feel beautiful and he knew what had made Phichit burst out into excited cheers.  

He did all he could to impress Viktor at first.  He was shy and he had to push, but soon enough, he realized just how much he had missed the ice, and he melted into it, forgetting all else, forgetting the need to impress, to be anyone but himself.

When he was done, skates cutting through the ice sharply, his chest was heaving and there was a pleasant hum in his legs.  He had done every jump he could and he had nailed them.  And he hadn’t even practiced in ages.  He felt good.

He looked up to Viktor’s stunned expression.  

Yuuri rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment as he skated back over.  “Um.  Did you like it?”  He said on a hopeful voice.

“Yuuri.  ...You are far more stunning than I knew.  That was gorgeous.  That was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.  Why didn’t you tell me you could do those things?”

“Oh, it’s nothing really,” Yuuri breathed.  “You should see Phichit.  He’s very good.”

“I can’t imagine anyone could be better than you, Yuuri,” Viktor said, voice low and surprised still.  He shook his head.  “You surprised me...  That was...  It was amazing.”

Yuuri smiled, small and sweet.  “Come on.  We should head back before it gets dark and someone notices you’re missing.”

“I wish I could stay here with you, Yuuri,” Viktor whispered.

Yuuri’s eyes widened.  

Viktor held his gaze, looking at Yuuri through his eyelashes, smiling shyly.  

Yuuri opened his mouth to say something, anything, when he was cut off by a voice in the distance.

“Yuuri Katsuki, you get your butt over here!”

His eyes flew up to the figure on the hill.  “M-Mari!”  He breathed, looking to Viktor in horror.  He snatched the hat from Viktor’s pocket and shoved it over his head.  Viktor gasped softly, hand flying to his hat to fix it from getting in his eyes.  

Mari was climbing down the snowy hill.  “I know you took my skates.  You’d better not be wearing them!”

“Mari!”  Yuuri said, skating over to meet her before she got any closer.  “I thought you had work today.”

“So you sneak through my stuff?  Real cool, Yuuri.  Oh, hey, Phichit.”  She stopped suddenly as she looked over.  “...That’s not Phichit.”

“I-it’s - he’s...uh, my friend from work.  He lives in the castle.”

“A knight?”  Mari said, frowning as she leaned in closer, inspecting him through squinting eyes.  “You don’t really look like a knight...”

Yuuri nodded eagerly.  “People say that about me too though.  Right, Georgi?”

Georgi was a knight at the castle.  Viktor nodded easily, extending his hand and smiling happily.  “Nice to meet you, Mari.  I’ve always wanted to meet Yuuri’s family.”

“Oh...”  Mari said, still staring at Viktor with a certain blankness that made Yuuri have to fight to repress his laughter.  He had felt that way the first few times he’d seen Viktor.  He was stunning.  It was nice to see he wasn’t the only one so badly affected.  “Nice to meet you too...”

“He’s never been ice skating,” Yuuri explained.  “So I thought it might be nice to bring him out here.”

“Yeah,” Mari said, obviously still dazed.  “Sure.  Hey.”  She turned to Yuuri.  “We should have him over for dinner.  Mom’s home and cooking your favorite.”  

Yuuri’s jaw dropped open.  “Really?  She managed to get the ingredients?”

She was smiling knowingly.  “It’s your lucky day.”  She looked to Viktor.  “And yours too.  It looks like you could use some fattening up.  Aren’t knights supposed to get more food than us...?”

Viktor laughed.  “Oh, I eat just fine.  I don’t want to intrude.  I should go home...”

But he turned his eyes over to Yuuri as if asking for permission, his crystal blue eyes sparkling with hope he was trying to extinguish.  

“Are you sure?”  Mari said, brows furrowing.  “I don’t think you understand what you’re missing.  It’s Yuuri’s favorite meal.”

Viktor’s smile changed as he looked at Yuuri.  It was softer, warmer.  “I thought you said you didn’t have a favorite.  What is it?”

“I-I forgot...”  Yuuri mumbled, face growing hot.  He said quietly, “it’s katsudon.”

“I’ll have to remember that,” Viktor said, taking a seat on the ground and untying his skates.  “I should go before it gets too late.”

Viktor didn’t let on any glimmer of a hint that he was disappointed, but Yuuri felt sadness bloom in his heart at the thought of Viktor leaving.  He wanted Viktor to come with them so badly.  It didn’t matter that there probably wouldn’t be enough for everyone to fully indulge themselves - there never was - but that wasn’t the point of it.  He wanted Viktor to sit with him and his family, be a part of what he cherished most.  Viktor always was so beautiful, but so lonely.  Yuuri wanted to help him.  

“C-come with us,” Yuuri said.  

Viktor’s eyes flew wide as he stared up at Yuuri, hands freezing on his skates.  

Yuuri coughed on his embarrassment.  Softly, he said, “I think you’ll like it...  And you can meet my family if you want?”

There was a pause in which Yuuri was too afraid to look back.  Viktor said eventually, “...Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Yuuri nodded.

Was there danger in this?  Yuuri’s parents would never tell even if they found out who he was, but the thought made him uneasy.  It would be so much easier to just keep Viktor to himself, an angel he met in the garden.  But Yuuri turned his sight back onto Viktor: his eyes were _sparkling_ with stars.  Yuuri had never seen such a hope-filled smile.  “Oh, Yuuri,” he breathed, his voice sounding tight with emotion.  “I’d love to.”

“W-would you?”  Yuuri pressed the back of his hand over his mouth to hide the smile that wouldn’t stop growing.  He knew he looked like a fool, his smile mirroring that of Viktor’s.

Mari was already walking up the hill.  “Ruin my skates and I’ll kill you.”

“Be there in a minute,”  Yuuri called back, taking a seat beside Viktor, also undoing his skates.  

They were quiet for a bit as they worked.

“Are you sure about this...?”  Viktor asked.  “I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want.”

“Of course I want you there, Viktor,” Yuuri mumbled.  “...I’ve been worried that something would happen if I brought you here, but Mari didn’t even recognize you,” he laughed quietly.  “And besides, I’ve decided.”  

“Decided what?”  Viktor tilted his head, his long silver hair cascading like silk over his knees.  

“It doesn’t matter who finds out about you...b-because...I’ll protect you.”  Yuuri said it softly, face glowing red.  And then his voice grew louder and he nodded to himself, looking up into Viktor’s eyes with determination burning in his own.  “I will protect you, Viktor.  No matter what comes your way.  Trust in me.”

Viktor’s eyes glistened.  For a moment, Yuuri thought that Viktor might cry, but then he laughed, that bright pure laugh that only Viktor could make.  He tossed his arms around Yuuri, clinging to him tightly.  “Thank you, Yuuri!!  I’m so glad you came to me...  I’m so happy you did.”

“Me too, Viktor...”  Yuuri said, holding Viktor with hands that trembled slightly.  He was hyperaware of Viktor’s face buried into his shoulder, his smile pressed to Yuuri’s clavicle.  His heart was racing.  He swallowed hard.

Viktor pulled back first, cheeks and nose red as strawberries and eyes brighter than the sun.  He shuffled back so he was no longer in Yuuri’s lap, and brought his hands back to himself.  “So.  What’s in katsudon?”

“Hmm, I think you’ll like it.  There’s rice as the base and whatever vegetables we can find on top.  Usually eggs, and if we’re really lucky, there’ll be pork cutlet.  Otherwise, it wouldn’t really be katsudon.”

“Sounds good!”  Viktor marveled.  “What kind of vegetables do you usually like on it?”

“Um.  I think peas are my favorite.  What’s your favorite vegetable?”

He shrugged, holding up a finger.  “I’m not picky.  Now, watch this.”  He shifted himself so he was off the ice and in the snow, taking his gloves off and shoving them in his pockets.  Carefully, he pushed the snow out of the way, revealing the ground.  

“What are you doing?”  Yuuri asked curiously.

Viktor smiled up at him brightly but didn’t respond.  He blew on the ground softly, his fingers still running against the ground.  

“Watch, Yuuri,” he breathed.  

And softly, he began to sing.  

Yuuri didn’t know the language.  Viktor hummed a lot and sang occasionally, but it wasn’t like this.  It was never like this.  

This was like the first time Yuuri had heard Viktor playing, the harp’s trance-like notes wafting through the air as if it were a drug.  Yuuri had never known anything could be so beautiful.  Now they were here and Viktor’s voice was the notes, hanging in the cold winter air, slipping into the cold ground and lighting it up with sound, with life.  Beyond beautiful.

Yuuri hadn’t fully understood what music was to Viktor.  He had seen the impossible garden and heard Viktor say over and over that he had grown it, but he didn’t think beyond that.  He’d never seen actual magic before.

But this...

Viktor’s delicate hands cupped a space of dirt.  He stared down at it, waiting, expectant.  This was the dirt that Yuuri had fought with for ages to give him any sign of life.  Any.  And no matter how hard he fought, no matter how many tears he shed into the land, how many different methods he tried, nothing would grow.

But something was poking its head out of the ground.  Something green.

Yuuri cried out, stumbling back.  

The garden.  Viktor’s garden.  Viktor had _told him_ , but to see it happen, to actually believe it...

Viktor looked up, startled.  “Yuuri?”  He asked in confusion.  

“...A vine.”

Viktor smiled crookedly, uncertainty still painted over his features.  “...Peas.”

“Peas!”

“ _Peas._ ”

“But the dirt is dead!  I’ve tried for years.  My granny tried and she’s good with things like that and nothing happened.  Nothing will grow.”

“Ohhh,” Viktor nodded in understanding.  “The earth isn’t dead.  Just sleeping.  My mother used to say the earth needs a lullaby to slumber and a ballad to coax it awake.  I read it...in her diary.”

“...You can sing things to life...?”

“Mm...not really.  I’m just...calling.”

“Calling?”  Yuuri frowned in confusion.  “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t really know either.  I’ve always been able to do it though, and so could my mom.  ...She was much better at it.  That’s why the lands weren’t covered in ice when she was alive.  But once she died...”  He was silent for awhile, biting at his lower lip.  “I, um...  D-do you want the peas?”

“I-is it okay?”

Viktor smiled brightly and then looked back down, continuing his soft singing.  Yuuri watched in fascination as the green little vine grew before his eyes, becoming thicker and fuller and _more_.  Pods blossomed before their eyes, filling with peas.  Yuuri could’ve cried.

He wiped at his eyes.

Viktor ended his song on a chuckle.  “Is my brave knight crying?”

“I’m not crying,” Yuuri sniffed.  “...I can’t believe you can do that.  I’m so surprised.”

“I told you I could.  Where do you think the garden came from?”

Yuuri shrugged.  “It’s in a castle!  I dunno...  Wow.  Viktor, this is amazing.  If only you could -”

He was cut off short.  Viktor lurched to the side, clutching at his stomach tightly.  His face had gone sheet white.

“Viktor?”  Yuuri blinked, flying forward to help Viktor stay up.

“Oh.  Yuuri.  I’m fine.  Just give me a second.”  He pressed his lips together as he took a few deep breaths through his nose.  “Right,” he said, laughing on a breath.  “It was my fault.  I was trying to show off...  I can’t do that much at a time...”  He said it with a dark sadness in his eyes, as if growing a plant from the ground in a minute flat was a failure somehow.  “I can do more on my mother’s harp.  Well, you can see the garden.  But I’m still nothing like her.  My father said she could grow an entire forest with only one note.  When she sang, she could cure the sick and the weak...”

“She must’ve been wonderful...”

“Yes,” Viktor breathed in wonder.  “Have you seen pictures before?  A master painted her portrait a bit before she died.  She was pregnant with me.  It hangs in the hallway outside my room.  I want to show it to you sometime.  Would you like to see it?”

"I'd love to, Viktor.  Are you sure you're alright?"  

Viktor was sagging against Yuuri, a little frown on his face.  He sighed, closing his eyes, eyelashes fluttering.  “Don't worry about me.  My mother wouldn't be affected like this, so I've got to get through it.  ...I wish I could’ve met her...  She died giving birth to me, so what does that say about me,” he hummed, voice falling dull and sad.  

Yuuri wanted nothing more than to wipe the sadness off of Viktor’s face.  He wished so badly he was good with words.  But he wasn’t.  Silence fell between them.

“This is amazing, though,” Yuuri said, touching the peas to make sure they were real.  “Can we use them for the katsudon?”

Viktor brightened.  “I’d be honored!”

They stuffed Viktor’s many jacket pockets with peas and trudged up the snowy hill and to Yuuri’s house.

Yuuri’s parents were there, working together to put dinner together.  They didn’t seem any bit shocked or surprised when Viktor came in, hat still in place as a flimsy disguise.

“Welcome home, Yuuri,” his mother said.  “This must be your friend.  Mari already told us.  You are most welcome, dear.”

Viktor bowed his head politely.  “It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Katsuki.  Mr. Katsuki.  Yuuri has told me so much about you.”

“Has he?”  She flushed in happiness.  “You’re so sweet.  Tell me, do you like katsudon?”

“It smelled delicious!”

“Mother,” Yuuri said, “Viktor comes from the castle.  He brought some peas.”

“Peas!  Wonderful, dear.”

Mari was sitting on her cot in the corner of the room.  She looked up from reading her book.  “I thought his name was Georgi.”

“O-oh.”  Yuuri’s mind blanked out.

Viktor laughed.  “I don’t much care for the name ‘Georgi’, so I tell my friends to call me ‘Viktor’.”

Mari nodded, unenthused.  No one seemed to care.

Yuuri winced at Viktor and mouthed silently, “sorry.”

Viktor winked.  “Can I help you, Mrs. Katsuki?”

“You’re such a dear.  I’ve got most everything ready.  I hope you boys are hungry.”

There wasn’t a lot when she divided the meal up into five, but everyone had a smile on their face.  Yuuri's parents didn't get many opportunities to see Yuuri's unguarded smile, and they would gladly exchange many more meals if it meant Yuuri could always feel such happiness. 

“Viktor, try the sauce!”  Yuuri said, leaning into his space with bright excited eyes.  “My mom makes it the best.  It’s heavenly.”

Viktor took a bite and his eyes went wide.  “Vkusno!”  He shouted merrily, mouth still full.

Everyone laughed.  “What does that mean?”  Yuuri asked.

Viktor grinned happily.  “‘Delicious’!  It’s in my mother tongue!  Mrs. Katsuki, this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted!  The chefs in the castle need to take lessons from you.”

She turned red, holding onto his cheeks.  “Oh, you.  Yuuri, I like this one.  You need to keep him.”

Yuuri snorted into his bowl, cheeks warm with happiness, because that’s what he _wanted_ to do, and it felt so great to see Viktor, his Viktor, getting along so well with his family.

For once, it was warm.    

Yuuri couldn’t believe that, not too long ago, he had dreamt of this moment, had let himself entertain the idea of Viktor coming to his home and sitting at the dinner table with him.  It had kept him going, had given him hope.  And even that dream paled in comparison to how he really felt sitting there beside Viktor, arms pressed side-by-side, sharing the same meal with Yuuri’s family.  Happy.  Content.  Warm.  

It was over too soon, but Yuuri knew that it was a moment he’d treasure for the rest of his life.  He locked it away quietly in his chest for safekeeping.  

“Yuuri is our precious son,” Yuuri’s mom said to Viktor as they headed out the door.  “He is a very sweet gentle boy.  Please take care of him.”

“ _Mom_.”

She smiled.  “He doesn’t trust many, but when he does, it’s his full trust.  He’s like a dog that way.  Loyal to a fault.  I can already see he likes you very much.”

“ _Mother, please_.”

Viktor laughed.  “You don’t have to worry about him.  I’ll look after him.  I promise.”

“Come _on_ ,” Yuuri groaned, pulling Viktor along behind him before anyone could say anything else embarrassing.  “It’s like they’re sending me off to get married or something,” he muttered into his hand, face beet red.

Viktor laughed too, smiling happily and humming a cheerful sleepy melody.

It was snowing, soft flakes fluttering down from the sky only partly filled with clouds.  Yuuri watched through the corner of his sight as the snow flakes drifted through the air and landed on Viktor's eyelashes.  The evening sun was slipping behind the horizon, lighting them up in gold.

“I had a wonderful time,” Viktor said eventually as they walked up the snowy hill together.  They were cutting it close on time and Yuuri knew they should hurry.  Once night fell, it wasn’t safe.  But their walk was casual, yearning for more time together, not wanting to give this last moment up.

“Your family is so charming, Yuuri, just like you.  You are very lucky.”

“Yeah,” Yuuri said softly.  “They really liked you too.  I can’t believe Mari invited you over tomorrow again,” he laughed into his hand.  “She doesn’t even invite Phichit over twice in a row and he cracks her up.  I think someone might have a crush.”

Viktor laughed.  “She is a lovely person and I like her very much, but she isn't you...”

Yuuri’s breath caught in his throat.  What did that mean?  He bit his lip.  “You’re always welcome, Viktor.  I hope you know that.  As long as it’s safe for you to go out.  As long as you’re careful.  My home is your home.”

Viktor smiled, a small secretive smile, one Yuuri hadn’t seen before.  Viktor was always smiling, always bright, always happy, filled with emotions that were bursting.  This one was different.  Soft again, like the smile he reserved for Yuuri, but quieter somehow, like it was only a part of the real smile that was hidden beneath.  

“Your home.  The lake.  Thank you for sharing it with me,” Viktor said softly.  

“Those both have their charms,” Yuuri admitted.  “But it’s no sitting in the garden with you.”

“Y-you really think so?”  Viktor blushed, running a hand over his face.  He seemed to be thinking something over for a moment, red sun bathing them in golden light.  Finally, he decided.  “Come with me for a second, Yuuri.”

“We should really get you home,” Yuuri worried, tugging on Viktor’s arm to keep him in place.  “The wolves will start coming out soon.”

“We’ll be quick,” Viktor promised.

Yuuri followed him.  He suspected that, at this point, he was in too deep, and he’d follow Viktor anywhere.  There was just something about Viktor.  Something too beautiful for words.  It wasn't just his appearance.  Yuuri watched him, seeing Viktor’s eyes bright with hope for the future, and realized he was the best thing in his life.  He’d never known something as wonderful as Viktor could exist, but here he was, better than a dream.

They went deeper into the forest, despite Yuuri’s protests.

“Don’t worry,” Viktor said softly, turning around.  “We’ll stop here.”

“Okay,” Yuuri said, crossing his arms tightly and tossing his glance around nervously, expecting rabid animals and hungry wolves.  “What did you want to show me?”

Viktor was smiling.  He took a step forward and grabbed both of Yuuri’s hands, bringing them down in between the both of them.  He didn’t let go.  “Close your eyes,” he whispered.

Yuuri took a deep breath.  “Um...”

“You trust me, don’t you?”  Viktor said, laughing softly.  “Your mother said you did.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Yuuri muttered, smiling despite himself.  He closed his eyes.

Viktor began to sing, soft and tender.  Yuuri had gotten used to the tone of Viktor's songs.  They were all happy and ran like a merry breeze through the air.  This song was slow, raw, powerful.  Yuuri held his breath as he listened to it and felt it vibrate within his soul, resonating in a way Yuuri hadn't thought anything could.

It was a different side of Viktor, the real one, hidden beneath his smiles and positivity.  It was the lonely Viktor, the one who missed his mother, who was confused and didn’t understand himself.  It was the Viktor that was opening up to Yuuri as Yuuri was doing to him.  It was two separate souls meeting each other halfway, getting to know each other slowly, surely, their edges blending together.

“Viktor,” Yuuri breathed.  Through the notes, he felt he _understood_.  He knew of Viktor’s hurt, of his empty childhood longing for something more.  The yearning, the hope that music gave him as he sent it through the air, calling.

Viktor was not all smiles and laughter, no matter how much he tried to hide behind it.  Viktor was hurting too.

Yuuri could hardly believe he was sharing this all with him, but he felt so overwhelmed to be trusted enough.  

Viktor stopped singing, silence falling around them like a comforting blanket.  Viktor pressed his forehead against Yuuri’s, breathing in deeply.  

“Okay,” he whispered.  “You can open your eyes.”  He pulled away, letting Yuuri see around him.

Yuuri forgot how to breathe.  It was as if they were transported to another time, another land.  The snow was gone.  Where they stood was a meadow, covered in soft green plantlife, blue flowers everywhere.  In the center of these flowers' delicate blue petals was a sprinkling of gold that glowed like little lights, as if fireflies took home within their shelter.  It was magical.  Playful thin vines wrapped around the trees, flowers blooming along the way.  Again, blue.  And at Yuuri’s feet was lavender.

“ _Viktor_ ,” Yuuri said again.  His mind was jammed in place.  He pressed his hands to his face in a bad attempt to stem the crying.  The tears leaked over anyway.  “ _Viktor_.”

“Do you like it?”

“ _It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen_.”

“You...you always seem to like blue, so I thought...  And I know you like lavender; I couldn't choose, so I thought maybe both.  Is that...okay?  I mean...  It’s for you.  It’s my thank you for today.  I never thought I could have so much fun.”

“I love it,” Yuuri nodded quickly.  “I love it so much.  It’s so wonderful...   _You’re_ so wonderful.”

Viktor blushed, ducking his head.  “It’s nothing...”  

Before Yuuri could react, Viktor swayed, legs buckling underneath him.  He sunk to the floor, hands just barely having time to reach out to break his fall.

“Viktor!”

“Ah...  Shoot.”  He breathed.  Yuuri knelt beside him, hands on his shoulders.  “I’m fine, Yuuri.  I really thought I could do it without getting so light-headed.”

“Does this always happen?”

Viktor nodded.  “Whenever I overdo it.  Don’t worry.  It goes away quickly enough.  It just takes a bit out of me for a bit.”

“You shouldn’t push yourself so hard...”  Yuuri worried.

Viktor laughed.  “The good thing about all the flowers is the ground is so soft when it takes my fall.  Like a fluffy pillow.”

“It’s not funny...”  Yuuri grumbled.  His voice softened.  “Viktor, this is beautiful and I wish I could stay here with you forever, but the sun is gone.  We really need to go.”

Viktor nodded, accepting Yuuri’s help as he pulled Viktor to his feet.  “It’ll be here tomorrow.  We can visit it whenever.  Our special place.”

"I'd love that..."

Viktor was more than a little lightheaded.  They made it inside, but Viktor had to lean on Yuuri as they shuffled through the castle.  The castle was manned with only the skeleton crew and it was easy enough to maneuver out of their sights.  

“I’ve never been to this section of the castle before,” Yuuri said, shifting Viktor’s weight a bit so it was more comfortable around his neck.

“There’s my mother,” Viktor said, nodding his head toward a canvas bigger than Yuuri.  She was gorgeous, of course, every bit as angelic as Viktor.  But while Viktor was all purity and naivete, she was serenity, something calm and controlled in her eyes.  Yuuri could see her ruling.  He'd follow her without question.

“She’s beautiful,” Yuuri said.  “She looks just like you.”

“That’s what my father always used to say.  He’d get so sad whenever he looked at me.  ...He stopped looking at me altogether after awhile,” he said softly.

“...Viktor.”

“I miss my mother.  I miss my father too.  Lilia does not care about me."  He took in a deep raw breath.  "No one in this castle does.”

Yuuri looked over at Viktor’s solemn face, his mouth pressed together in a grim tight line.  “I do,” he said softly.

Viktor looked over in surprise.  His lips parted on a breath as they stared at each other.

There was a loud sound behind them of something clattering to the floor.  A yowl.  A blur of a fluffy tail.  

“O-Oh,” Viktor muttered.  “My brother’s cat.  What’s it doing out here...?  I swear that thing has it out for me.”

Yuuri laughed.  “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“My room’s right here.”  Viktor pulled himself upright and nodded to himself.  “I feel much better.  Thank you, Yuuri.  Will you be able to find your way back alright?”

“If I didn’t, would you be able to draw me a map?  I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a master artist too.”

Viktor snorted and shook his head.  “Not unless stick figures count.”

Yuuri hummed as he thought.  “I’m sure you’d be able to find a way to make it work.  ...But I don’t need a map.  I’m good with layouts.  Thank you, though.  I...I had a lot of fun today too.  Thank you for everything.”

They stood at the doorway, watching each other.  

“Goodnight, Yuuri,” Viktor said gently, still watching him with those intense bright eyes.

“Goodnight, Viktor.”

They smiled at each other until Yuuri finally found the strength to turn around.  He meant to look cool and controlled, but he stumbled, face flaring red with embarrassment.  “I-I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Viktor chuckled into his hand, warm and soft.  “I’ll be waiting, Yuuri.”

Yuuri went home, smiling to himself, twirling a sprig of lavender and a small glowing blue flower between his fingers.

Was this love?  His skin was freezing but he felt  _so warm_.

He looked forward to the next day like he'd never looked forward to anything else.  

" _I'll be waiting_ ," Viktor had said.

But the next day, the garden would be empty.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's senses were falling away in pieces, but he did not stop, could not stop, as he struggled to Viktor’s room.
> 
> Viktor was delicate. He couldn’t hurt a fly. He laughed and danced and smiled. He didn’t fight and sneak his way out of things. He was Viktor . So if something were to want to harm him, actually harm him...
> 
> Oh, God.

 

* * *

**warnings:** abuse, killing, blood

 

 

* * *

 

Yuuri woke to the morning’s bright light shining through his ratty curtains.  He hummed happily, twisting his back in a golden stretch he could feel vibrating from his shoulders all the way down to the tips of his toes.  Remembering yesterday.  Remembering Viktor.  His smile grew as he envisioned the prince and those flowers and vines - rare, precious, beautiful.  

A twinge caught his attention.  Yuuri's hand had been clenched tightly into a little ball all night and was stiff and sore.  He wrinkled his nose as he tried to work it gently open, finger by finger, until his hand opened up, revealing a big blurry unfamiliar  _something_ on his palm.  He squinted his eyes but still couldn't make it out, so he grabbed his glasses and pressed them to his face.

It was the blue flower from yesterday, crushed from his grip.  He blinked in surprise.

Ah, last night, he had been in such a dreamy mood as he had stayed up staring at it in the pale moonlight.  He had told himself then that he had needed to put it away before he crushed it in his sleep, but he had been reluctant to part with it.  His eyes had slowly closed as he watched it, smile on his lips.  Now, he was reaping the consequences.

He couldn’t be upset though, because he knew there was an entire grove full of them, waiting, just up the hill.  He couldn’t push the smile off of his face even as his mom came in.

“Morning, Yuuri,” his mother said softly, walking up to him and kissing his forehead.  “You look happy today.”

There was no point denying it; he was already blushing madly.  “Mm.  I had fun with Viktor yesterday.”

“He seems like a lovely boy.  You have the best taste in friends.”

Yuuri hummed as he got busy putting on his attire for guard work.  He made sure to find a safe place in his undershirt to slip the blue flower.  He probably wouldn’t show Viktor since it was crumpled and sad by this point, but it was comforting to have by him.  With soft care, he placed his hand over his chest, where he knew the flower sat snug and secure.  It’d be silly to tell Viktor that anyway, that he was saving the flower in such a meaningful place.  Viktor would probably laugh.  Yuuri was falling in too deep too quickly.  He was being silly.  He wouldn’t tell Viktor.  

This one would be his own secret.    

“I am so proud of you.”

Yuuri looked up in surprise.  “What?”  

“You’ve found it.”

“Found what?”  Yuuri looked around him, searching for something that’d make sense.  The peas, maybe?

She was smiling patiently, watching him with only warmth and kindness in her eyes.  “You look happy,” she said again.  “I’m glad you found it.”

“Again, what...?”  Yuuri was frowning, voice cautious.  

“What you’ve been looking for, dear.”  She took a step closer to him, placing her hand on his cheek.  “Ever since you were younger, you’ve excelled at everything you’ve wanted to do, but there was something in your eyes...  Something discontent.  But they look different now.  They have for awhile.  I just have been wondering what it was that changed you until yesterday.”

“ _Mom_ ,” Yuuri blushed.  “He’s just a friend.”

She shrugged - a small roll of her shoulders.  “Then it seems a friend is just what you needed, dear.  I’ll love you no matter what you choose, Yuuri, as long as you choose your happiness.  You know that, don’t you?”

“Okay, okay,” he forced out, trying to breathe through the embarrassment.  He coughed into his hand, trying to hide his burning face, and sniffed loudly.  “...Thanks, Mom.”  He fidgeted beneath the gaze of her warm smile and murmured softly, “I mean it.  Really.  Thank you.”

She patted his cheek and then turned, getting back to cleaning.  “You’ll look after eachother, won’t you?  He seems a little delicate to be a knight.  I worry...”

“We don’t really do anything dangerous, Mom.  Phichit gets to go out hunting and stuff, but Viktor and I just stay inside.”

She chuckled softly, looking over at Yuuri’s face.  “You sound displeased about that, but as a mother, I’m glad you’re safe.  It’d worry me if you were out hunting.  Poor Phichit’s dear mother.  I should bake her a pie or something one of these days.”

“She’d love that, Mom,” he said, swooping in to kiss her on the cheek before he headed out.  He hesitated for at the door.  “I didn’t get to ask...but...did Dad like Viktor too?”

“Of course he did, dear.  Viktor is very kind and sweet.  What’s there not to like?”

Yuuri chuckled, fingers drumming against the door frame nervously.  “I’m glad.  I just...  I really like him.”

She smiled knowingly, nodding her head.  “We do too, dear.  You have our blessing.”

“A-as a _friend!_  Of _course_.”

She laughed gently into her hand.  “Of course, dear.  Have a good day.  Stay safe.”

As a friend, he had said.  ...As a friend?  Hm...  He really liked Viktor.  A lot.  

Yuuri was sixteen now.  His parents had gotten married at sixteen.  In times like these, there wasn’t much point in waiting.  They treated every day as if it were their last.

And Yuuri really did like Viktor...  

But maybe he was right to tell his mother they were only just friends.  Viktor being royalty completely aside, it wasn’t like Yuuri wanted to do anything more with Viktor than they already were doing.  He’d heard tales from the other knights of pleasurable barnyard rompings in the moonlight, and honestly, the thought kind of sickened Yuuri.  

He wanted to just hold Viktor’s hand.  To know he was safe.  To see him smile and hear his delighted little laugh.  Viktor was perfect.  Yuuri could just be in his presence and that would be far more than enough.

That was a friend, right?  Right.  Probably.

But then, he loved Phichit, of course.  Phichit was his best friend, had been for ages, but Yuuri felt none of the complexity, the breathless warmth that he felt rushing through his veins when he thought of Viktor.

So maybe it wasn’t just a friend...

Or was it?

Yuuri bit his lip and checked the sun.  He guessed he had enough time to slip behind the village and check the peas near the lake before he needed to report in.

The sun was rising above the mountains in the distance, slow and majestic.  Yuuri watched a bit breathlessly as he walked up to the top of the hill, slowly shuffling his way down the snowy soft white, eyes trained on the sky.  It was painted in soft pastels, a few stray fluffy clouds from last night softly lazing by.  

It was gorgeous and his breath caught in his throat as he watched it.  Viktor would love looking at the colors.  He’d probably be able to compose a song for that on the spot, somehow capturing that sunrise on the soft strings of his harp, or maybe even his voice...   Yuuri swallowed hard at the thought of that.

He turned his vision away when the sun began to hurt his eyes, and then he stopped as he looked down at the pea plant.  

Stopped.  Stared.  Waited.  Closed his eyes and shook his head then looked again.

It was gone.

Maybe gone was the incorrect term.  It was _destroyed_.  

Yuuri’s slow shuffle turned into a sprint.  He slid down the rest of the hill and stumbled to his knees, looking around at the damage with wide horrified eyes.

What had been the vibrant beautiful start of life yesterday, done by Viktor’s gentle hands, was now torn to literal pieces.  The vine was ripped from the ground, roots hanging limply in the air, still tender and raw.  It’s leaves were torn and tossed about in every which way, scattered across the snow.  

It was ruined.

A small gasp escaped Yuuri.  Who would do such a terrible thing?  

He quickly pushed the accumulated snow off the ground and pressed his finger into the dirt.  It still was warm from whatever Viktor had done to it.  He carefully grabbed what was left of the roots and, as gently as he could, shifted dirt back over them, burying them snug in the ground.

He frowned, biting his lip.  He didn’t know if that would help at all.  It was no longer the lush full plant from yesterday, but a little stick coming out of the ground, bare and sad.  It was still green, but had its connection with the earth been cut?  He knew nothing about life, but he knew Viktor would know what to do.  

But...something was wrong.  Yuuri’s heart beat in trepidation that went beyond the plant.  He could feel it - a deep angry thumping in the pit of his stomach - as his mind scrambled to keep up with his intuition.

Who would tear up the first bit of green that had grown in this village in at least two decades?  It would definitely not be one of the villagers...  And this looked too calculated, too purposely cruel to be an animal, wild or not.  So that left...

Yuuri jumped to his feet and ran.  He grit his teeth, fear choking him.  He prayed he was overthinking things.  His sick mind often led him down the worst case scenarios - little realities that were too awful to come true.  

But he had a feeling.  The same feeling he had when, years ago, he saw the trail of blood through the pristine snow and he just _knew_.  

He had to hurry.  He had to hurry.  He ran, trampling up the hill, ran until his lungs burned, until his legs turned to jelly.  He slipped several times in the thick snow, but he pulled himself back up in the same movement.

Viktor could be in trouble.  Every second he was out here was one second too long.  He was late.  Viktor could be waiting...  

It was different when he went up to the castle’s gates.  Different from every single day he went to the castle.  

For starters, the gate was closed and in front of it, there were two guards instead of one.  Heightened security.  Suspicious.  

And also, one of those guards was Phichit.  Phichit, the hunter.  Phichit, the one whom the queen called on to search for things out of the village.

But to Yuuri, Phichit was just his friend.  Relief flooded through him.  An ally.

“Phichit!”  Yuuri exclaimed, throat dry from his frantic breathing.  He dropped his hands on his knees, gasping in lungfuls of air.  He knew he looked like a mess - his stomach was in knots and his face felt like putty from being so drained of blood.  

He expected Phichit’s surprise, but instead, Phichit’s eyes went blank as he caught sight of Yuuri, as if steeling himself, shutting himself off from Yuuri.  Yuuri could almost see the gates of defense falling in Phichit’s eyes.  Gate after gate...as if Yuuri were an enemy to be dealt with.  

Yuuri’s voice trembled as he managed to whisper.  “...Phichit?”

When Phichit spoke, his voice was sharp and harsh.  “Go home, Yuuri.  You’re not needed today.”

“What?” Yuuri forced out, his voice barely louder than a whisper.  “Why are you out here?  What’s going on?”

“Just.  Go.  Home,” he said through clenched teeth.

“I...I’m scheduled for duty right now.  I need to...need to...”  He trailed off at the look on Phichit’s face.  It was cold and unrelenting.  There wasn’t a trace of a smile on Phichit’s face and his lips were pressed so tightly together there was a slight tremor in his jaw.  He’d _never_ seen him look like that.  “Phichit, what’s wrong?  Are you okay?  What’s happening?”

He kept thinking of the ruined pea plant by the frozen lake and the squished flower in his chest pocket and his heart was thumping quickly, screaming: _get to Viktor, get to Viktor!_

Phichit’s face remained grim as he refused to answer.

“ _Phichit, please_ .  Tell me what’s going on!”  He couldn’t hide the hysteria creeping up in his voice.  The _fear_ .  It was consuming him.  He was being eaten alive standing here like this.  He had to _run_.  The clock was ticking, faster and faster.  Yuuri bit his lip until it bled, and then, he dug in deeper.

“Nothing.”  Phichit said sharply, heaving a sigh and rubbing his forehead.  He cleared his throat and made a visible effort to soften his voice.  “I’m fine.  Everyone’s fine.  There’s no reason to worry.  Just be like a normal soldier, take your free day, and go.  Now.”

Yuuri turned to the other guard.  He didn’t know him personally; he was small and newer than Yuuri, but he had seen Phichit with him several times and knew they were friends.  He looked between the two of them, confused.

Yuuri turned to ask him.

“Yuuri, _get out of here_ ,” Phichit growled, composure starting to crumble.  He leaned his spear on the side of the gateway and pushed Yuuri with one hand.  

Yuuri stumbled, not expecting the animosity behind the attack.  It hurt him more than he imagined it might.  But anger was soon to follow, flaring in him and making him _strong_.  

He pushed Phichit back with both hands, his anxiousness fueling his desperation as it built and grew, warping into a twisted hurt emotion too big to bear.  He leaned in Phichit’s face so they were nose-to-nose and snarled.  “I need to get in there.  I’m a knight, just like you.  I have just as much right as you do to get inside!”

The other guard stepped forward, eyes wide and uncertain, mouth opening, words already tumbling out.

“Guang Hong, stop,” Phichit ordered, whipping his hand out.  It was steady and firm.

Yuuri and Phichit stared into each other’s eyes.  It felt as if there were a string in the air, held tight and unyielding, pulled beyond its limits, ready to break.  If any of them so much as breathed too hard, it’d all be over.  

Phichit’s voice was so _different_.  This couldn’t be the same Phichit he had grown up with, the one who was basically his brother.  He spoke lowly, the words pushed out on raw emotion, tearing out of his chest.  “You’re wrong, Yuuri.  You’re not on the same caliber as us.  It’s not my own discretion to keep you out of the castle, it was a direct order.  The lower-ranking soldiers aren’t to be allowed in.”

“L-Lower?”

“Seriously, Yuuri?” he breathed, eyebrows raising.  “You never guessed?  Why do you think I’m assigned all the missions to go out and you’re stuck on guard duty every day?  You were good at fighting, but if it came down to it, you couldn’t hurt a fly.  I know you nearly failed all your psychological exams.  My brother told me.  Hardly anyone ever fails those, so they didn’t know what to do with you.  Do you know why got so close to failing?  It’s because you were too mentally weak.  You’re physically capable, but when it comes down to it, you’d fail in the most critical of moments.  You didn’t think they’d put that into consideration when they assigned us our roles?  Yuuri, please.  You're not fit to kill anyone, and that means you're also not fit to _save_ anyone.”  

Yuuri could barely breathe, each word had been like a knife twisted into his soft vulnerable belly.  So even Phichit had been thinking all those things beneath the surface?  ...He would compliment him and fill him with false praise and then laugh behind his back.  ...Yuuri should’ve figured.  

His face must’ve been a twisted ugly mess, hurt bleeding all over it.  Phichit’s face was indifferent as he watched Yuuri fall apart.  “...Phichit...?”  Yuuri breathed.

Phichit took in one long controlled breath, grabbed the spear in his hand firmly, and returned to position, eyes looking off into the distance determinedly.  “Go, Yuuri.  You’re not needed today.  Just go home.”

“...Please.  Please, Phichit.  You don’t understand.  I just need to go inside for a moment, that’s all.  I’ll come right back out.  I swear.  I just need to check on something.  Or maybe you could go for me?  I’ll stay out here, but please, I just need to know something...  Please, Phichit.  Just this one thing and I won’t ask you for anything else ever again.  I’ll never bother you again.”

“Why?”  He said, tone blunt and harsh.  “You forgot something in your secret lunch spot again?”

It was as if he’d been punched in the gut.  The air left his lungs all at once.  “...I...”

“Who was that with you?”  Phichit whispered, voice raw and hurt.  Yuuri saw, for the first time during their conversation, the betrayal and confusion in his eyes.  He refused to look at Yuuri as he spoke.  “Last night?”

Oh, god.  Yuuri’s voice caught in his throat.  He had _known_ he should’ve been more careful last night.  But he had been lost in his haze of happiness and this false sense of golden security that he felt when the two of them were together.  It had felt like nothing could touch him.  He had been too careless.  

“...There was no one,” Yuuri said on a winded breath.  

Phichit’s face twisted.  “I saw you!  Don’t lie to me, Yuuri!  To _me_.”  Phichit said in disbelief.  “We were supposed to be best friends...”

“Phichit, we _are_.  You don’t understand, but I’ll tell you everything when I get back.  Just let me in the castle!  I’m begging you.”

Phichit looked away, fighting the tears budding in his eyes.  “No matter how much you beg, I’m not budging.  This is for your own good.  Go home.  I won’t tell anyone you tried to force your way in if you just leave now.  Guang Hong won’t say anything either.”

“Phichit -”

“Yuuri.”  Phichit’s face was set.  Distant.  “Go,” he said softly.

Yuuri took in a shuddering breath.  Viktor was in there.  Viktor.  And something was going horribly wrong.  Not even Phichit was on his side.  

It felt like the whole world was slowly caving in, being consumed by a whirlpool of darkness.

He turned on his heel, storming away, shaking his head in hopes that it’d get rid of the tears.  It didn’t.  They fell over his cheeks, hot and angry.  He scrubbed at his face viciously knowing that they’d help nothing.

He thought of Viktor’s innocent smile, the way his fingers so casually played against the strings of his harp as if it were the easiest thing in the world.  His Viktor.  The Viktor who made snow angels and laughed at basically anything Yuuri said even if it wasn’t at all funny.  The Viktor who couldn’t keep a secret from Yuuri to save his life.  

Yuuri jumped, stumbling to a halt.  His heart raced as it clutched onto a tiny bit of hope.

The secret entrance.  

He put a finger to his lip, thinking carefully.  What had Viktor said again?  

The sewers.  A broken grate.  East end.  

He tossed a glance behind him, making sure Phichit wasn’t getting his spear ready to skewer him if he came back.  Yuuri didn’t understand what Phichit was so violently upset about, even knowing he’d been found out about keeping a secret.  In all his years he’d known Phichit, not once had he gotten even remotely close to that level of _cruel_.

That wasn’t Phichit.  It didn’t make sense.  

But that was a thought for another time.  Yuuri was creeping quickly along the east end’s perimeter, searching for any sign of a grate somewhere, or a ladder, or anything that’d allow him access, but all he saw was snow.  

Yuuri groaned in frustration.  The side of the castle was _long_ and he was only one person.  He couldn’t shovel all this snow off by himself.  

But he didn’t have any other options, so he started the mission as quickly as he could.  His gloves were a big problem, getting in the way and slowing his speed, so he tore them off and shoved them in his pocket, bare hands braving the cold of the snow.  He clawed the snow away, eyes desperately searching for some sort of anything that would bring him one step closer to inside the castle.

It seemed like ages, each agonizing pull of the snow more painful than the next.  His hand was stuck in a claw, stiffened in the freezing cold.  He jammed it in the snow and pulled back, trying not to notice the discoloration and ignoring what he knew it meant.

It wasn’t a moment too soon before his hand jerked to a stop.  A grate!  

It was on the side of the castle wall, looking just big enough for Yuuri to squeeze through.  He shoved his gloves on and kicked the grate out, laying down on his back and trying to force himself through.

It hurt.  His whole back would probably be bruised in the morning, and his ear got caught as he tried to jam his head through the tiny space.  He felt warmth leak down the side of his head.  

But he made it.  

Viktor had been right: it smelled awful.  Yuuri was gagging before he let himself fall off the ledge and his feet hit the ground.  The sewers was just about the last place he wanted to be.

He looked around in the dim light.  His heart was thumping wildly in his chest, stress pushing it to his limits.  He felt dizzy from it.  His body was begging for a rest, especially when he realized what he was about to deal with.  

It was a maze.  

Well.  He had walked through the castle more times than he could count already.  This shouldn’t be too different.  He closed his eyes and thought it out.  If he was on the eastermost end of the castle, he was a few hallways away from the garden.  He just had to envision it, that was all.

Yes.  He just had to be confident in himself.  He was good with layouts.  He had told Viktor only last night, after all.  He needed to brag to him today about it.  Viktor’s eyes would light up at the story.  He’d grin and laugh.  But he wouldn’t be surprised, because Viktor had always believed in Yuuri.  Yuuri couldn’t wait to see that look on Viktor’s face when he told him all this.  Soon.

He ran through the sewers, trying to ignore the stench and the irritated squeaks of the mice as they were forced to jump out of his way.  He followed the map in his head, which was harder than he had hoped.  He was coming up to a fair amount of dead ends, which was more than just a little disheartening, but it didn’t quell the determined fire blazing in his belly.  There was no option for failure.

It wasn’t a moment too soon when he finally found the broken grate.  It was large and acted as a door.  Yuuri knelt on the ground and forced himself through again.

At the end was a ladder, light shining down from above like a sign from the heavens.  

It was so beautiful that Yuuri could’ve cried.  He climbed instead, hope flaring in his chest as every second passed.

At the end of the ladder was a trap door.  Cautiously, he pushed it up, peeking through the crack.  He was in the library.  That was weird.  No one was there, either.  Usually, there was at least the librarian, but all was silent.  

Yuuri carefully shut the door so there was no sound, and then sauntered his way through the shadows, looking around the door’s opening into the hallway, making sure the hall was clear.  

It was a race to the garden.  He felt like he was flying.  Nothing could stop him now.  He knew where he was, could find the place by heart if he had to.  If he closed his eyes, his feet would take him there because every little fiber of his body would fight for another chance to get to Viktor.

He just prayed there was still time.

He sprinted through that dark long hallway and tossed the door open.  

He went into a coughing fit immediately, hunching over and leaning against the wall as he hacked up his lungs.  

The garden was gone.  

Where once had been life and light was black nothingness.  Soot.  Ashes still floated through the air, as if suspended through time.

His whole soul froze over.

“Viktor!”  He shouted, crying over the sound of static nothingness.  On top of the hill, underneath the black charred tree that had shaded them with maternal care throughout the year, was Viktor’s harp - it’s golden nobility, the glinting sunlight off the charmingly worn paint, the proud strings, all snapped and tarnished and _gone, gone, gone_.  Burnt beyond repair.

“Viktor, where _are you!_ ”  Yuuri screamed, running through the wasteland blindly.  

There was nothing to see.  Everything was ash.  Black nothingness.  Everything that Viktor had brought up from the soil with his music, everything he had loved, shared with Yuuri...it was gone.  

“Oh, God,” Yuuri breathed, doubling back, his fingertips numb.  He felt as if he were running through a dream, pushing through the world as it all slid by in noxious broken colors.  His senses were falling away in pieces, but he did not stop, could not stop, as he struggled to Viktor’s room.  

Bits of the Yuuri he was were breaking off of him.  He left them behind.  

He wasn’t careful.  He wasn’t sneaky.  He was pure raw primal fear.  

He bulldozed through the halls numbly, his heart racing in agony, his breaths tearing through his throat like some sort of crazed animal.  

Because he felt it in his heart.  The harp was gone.  The peas were gone.  Everything was gone.  The things Viktor so tenderly cared for...  He wouldn’t have just _let_ any of those things happen.  He would’ve fought tooth and nail.  He had loved them.  

Viktor was delicate.  He couldn’t hurt a fly.  He laughed and danced and smiled.  He didn’t fight and sneak his way out of things.  He was _Viktor_.  So if something were to want to harm him, actually harm him...

Oh, God.  

Yuuri fought down the tears as he continued to sprint.  

In a moment he hadn’t quite expected, he met upon a few soldiers.  Without even thinking about it, he whipped out the sword on his belt and sent the hilt slamming into a soldier’s head, knocking him out cold.  The others didn’t go down quite as easily, but Yuuri couldn’t even tell you what he did to subdue them.  One second, they were fighting, the next, they were knocked out cold on the ground and Yuuri’s hands were shaking from effort - effort he couldn’t remember putting forth.  His mind had blanked and -

He was running again.  He was on autopilot.  All he could think of was one name.  One name only, running through his head over and over, desperate and scared and crying out.

He met another ground of soldiers.  And another.  He had no problem taking them down.  Were they weak?  Was he strong?  He didn’t understand what was going on, he just knew he was _crushing them_.  And finally, he made it before Viktor’s room, the painting of his mother hanging nearby, watching quietly as Yuuri entered the room.  Two more guards were stationed there and he had the advantage of running in like a maniac.  Momentum was on his side.

He flew at one of them, landing on them like a wild cat.  The man struggled, but that was his downfall.  His weight was too far forward and Yuuri twisted, sending him even further off balance.  

It lined up perfectly.  The man stumbled forward, careening to the floor, just as the other soldier had swung his sword down, aim straight for Yuuri - or at least, where he had been moments before.  The soldier plunged his sword into his companion.  They both made a soft surprised sound, eyes wide.  

Yuuri leapt off the dying man with more grace than the situation should've allowed and snatched up the other’s head with his hand and sent it smashing into the wall.  

It hit with a sickening crunch, and then man slipped to the ground, quiet, eyes still open in shock.

Yuuri let out soft quick breaths, staring below at the blood seeping into his boots.  He’d never killed anyone before.  He felt strange, his heart fluttering in a way he'd never felt before.  Panic that was rising, threatening to choke and apprehend him.  He closed his eyes for two moments before kneeling besides the men, careful not to look at their faces or their wounds.  He knew the gravity of the situation hadn’t settled yet and he had to strike now, before his mind unraveled on itself.  

He just killed someone.  Two people.  Killed them.  Actually killed them.  Blood everywhere.  Dead, dead, _dead_ -

He slipped his hand into the pocket of the second soldier, feeling for a key.  There was nothing.

The other soldier was bleeding still, rivers of it flooding out.  His pocket was warm and sticky as Yuuri fished for the key.  There.  Thank God.  

He jammed the key into the lock and pushed the door open.

“ _Viktor_ ,” he called, his voice cracking on a sob.  

He deflated immediately, gritting his teeth harshly to stop from screaming.  He dug his hands into his hair.

No.  No one there.  As empty as everywhere else.  The french doors to the balcony were tossed open, wind swirling inside, bringing dark clouds above them and the scent of a storm.  The curtains were billowing madly, twisting and turning in a struggle.  

Empty.  

Empty.

Yuuri tried to control his breathing, but he had no idea what to do next.  Where could Viktor possibly be?  Yuuri had killed several soldiers and injured far more.  Now everyone would be after him, hunting him like prey.  His time was slipping away in thick streams.

His world spun.  He gagged.  He couldn’t take it.  Viktor was no where.  Phichit wouldn’t help him.  He’d killed people.  There was blood everywhere.  Staining his hands. The garden was gone.  Viktor.  Viktor.   _Viktor._

There was a sound behind him and a grunt of pain much closer to his ear than was safe.

He turned.  A soldier he didn’t recognize stood not even a foot away, his hand outstretched with a knife intended for Yuuri.  

Yuuri stared.  The man was frozen for a second before he sunk to the ground.  A knife in his own back.

“He’s not here,” a calm voice broke his train wreck of a thought.  

Yuuri flicked his gaze up to the figure standing outside the door, half of him in the waning sunlight streaming through the tall stained-glass window, the other half hidden by shadows.

Yuuri’s eyes widened.  It was Yurio.

“Who _the hell_ are you?”  Yurio said, but his voice was without heat.  He watched through quiet calculating eyes, wise beyond their years, waiting for something...  Not afraid.  Expectant.  

He was a snake.  A deadly snake poised to strike, the brittle facade of calm.  A lie.  

Yuuri couldn’t care.  There was no time to play games.  He stepped forward.

“Where is he?”  Yuuri whispered, raw, desperate.  His hands were shaking.

“Who.  Are.  You?”

“Yuuri,” he said at once.  “Katsuki.”

“...I don’t know that name,” Yurio said, holding his gaze.  He was a few feet away, bag on his back, standing in his silk white night wear, feet bare and exposed.  The blood from the soldier was creeping over to him in sluggish fading pulses.  He didn’t move away.  

“Please.  Where’s Viktor?”

“ _Viktor_?  Such disrespect.”  He spat venom.  “Don’t you know how to address royalty?”

“We don’t have time for this.  He’s in _trouble_ .  Where is he? _Yurio_.  Help him.”

Uncertainty crossed his features, eyes flying wide.  “How do you know that name?”  He asked quietly as his gaze raked Yuuri again, seeking answers.  He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing.  “That’s...that’s the nickname my brother uses for me...”  

“I’ve seen you.  I’ve been visiting Viktor in the garden nearly everyday.  He was afraid of what you’d think if you saw me.  I’d hide in the tree above the harp when you’d come in sometimes.  You love him.  I hear it in the way you speak to him, and the way he speaks to you.  You’re brothers.  He cares about you.  He trusts you.  Please.  I want to help him, but I don’t know where to go.”

Yurio opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.  

“Just bring me to him.”

“So it worked...  Just like he said it would."  Yurio whispered.  He licked his lips as he said, "...Can you save him?”  His tone betrayed his age for once.  It was absent of the usual forced cool and cynical tone, instead filled with the raw fear that he had for his brother’s safety.

“I’ll protect him with my life,” Yuuri vowed.

A beat.  One small, tiny hesitance, before Yurio was turning back the other way, feet running quickly through the halls.  “This way, then.  Keep up or I’m leaving you behind.”

Relief flooded through Yuuri.  He ran harder than he’d ever run his entire life.

“What happened?”  Yuuri asked.  “The garden’s gone.”

“Don’t ask questions.  We’re almost there,” Yurio said, quickly turning and speeding up a spiral staircase.  He was as quick as a fairy, making his every movement seem effortless.

At the top of the staircase was a large wooden door.  It looked thick and heavy.  

“It’s locked,” Yurio said.  “Do you -?”

Yuuri fished the keys out of his pocket and quickly unlocked the door, tossing it open.  

The room was barren and dark, all stone and cement floor, except for a tiny window too high to reach, too small for anyone to fit through.  It allowed just enough light in the room to see the delicate silhouette, hunched over and shaking on the floor.

“ _Viktor_ ,” Yuuri breathed, relief exploding through him, zapping him of his strength.  He ran in and sunk to his knees, tossing his arms around Viktor’s small shoulders.  “You’re okay...”

Viktor didn’t hold him back.  His hands remained limp at his sides.  

"I looked for you everywhere," Yuuri said, completely drained now that Viktor had been found.  "I thought you were gone."

“...Yuuri?”

His voice was small and ...off.  Broken.  Not just fragile, but wrecked and damaged.  

Yuuri couldn’t find the strength within himself to let go.  He stayed clinging to Viktor, face pressed into his shoulder, breathing him in.  He was _real_.  He was okay.  ...He smelled of smoke, but he was  _alive_.

Shaking, careful hands came around Yuuri’s back, resting on his shirt as gentle as air.  “...You came,” he whispered in that strange broken voice.  

“Mm,” Yuuri sniffed, giving Viktor’s small trembling form a squeeze.  “Are you okay?  Are you hurt?  What happened?”  

Viktor didn’t answer.  His fingers began to dig into Yuuri’s back as he pulled himself closer, pressing their bodies together.  His chest was heaving, but he did not cry.

Yuuri gave him a moment to collect himself, rubbing his back and murmuring, “It’s okay...”

A voice startled them.  It was Yurio, tapping his foot.  “Are you two idiots?  The guards will be after you, you know, after the mess you made. If you’re going to leave, you’ve got to do it now.”

Yuuri shifted back, unwillingly pulling himself away from Viktor.  “He’s right, we’ve got to go.”  He shifted to stand up when his feet slipped on something glistening on the ground.  

He blinked, bringing his head closer and readjusting his glasses.  He let his fingers run through it, silky and smooth.  It almost looked like...hair...

Yuuri tossed his gaze back up to Viktor, who was watching him mutely, eyes raw and afraid.  

Viktor’s mouth parted in the midst of their silence, unsure and hurt.  “It looks terrible...doesn’t it...?”

Yuuri’s breath caught in his throat as he looked over Viktor.  In his relief, he had not noticed his appearance beyond seeing he was breathing and _there_.  But Viktor was far from okay, the least of it being the mess on the ground.  Yuuri had been right: his long beautiful hair, the hair he was always looping around his fingers and brushing to the side as he laughed, bright silver locks that caught the sunlight and shimmered, had been chopped off at the base of his neck haphazardly, hacked away as if in a rage, a mess of unruly jagged locks that went every which way.

That was not the worst of it.

What fear on Viktor’s face Yuuri had attributed to the cold and being held prisoner stemmed from something far worse.  Even in the dark, it wasn’t difficult to see - there was a violent purple bruise smeared across Viktor’s cheek up to his temple, another melded into his frail clavicle that went up his shoulder, and a bruise that traveled all the way around his wrist, complete with angry cuts across the delicate skin there, in the form of sharp nails.  And that was just what Yuuri could see on exposed flesh.  Viktor was actively trying to cover up the marks with his hands, trying to shrink himself down into nothing so Yuuri couldn’t see anymore.  But Yuuri could see.  It made his heart sink and his soul cry.  Viktor had been tossed and banged around - like a toy, not a person.  

Viktor’s eyes grew wide and round as Yuuri watched him.  He forced his eyes closed tightly and brought his hand up to Yuuri’s cheeks as he shook his head softly.  “Yuuri...don’t.  Don’t look at me.”

“Who did this to you?”  Yuuri choked out.  

Viktor gazed back, pain building behind his eyes as he sat there and couldn’t say, couldn’t speak the words.

“You’ve got to go!”  Yurio hissed, tossing a bag full force at Yuuri’s head.  Yuuri caught it on reflex.  “Action first, questions later.  Don’t forget, you promised you’d keep my brother safe whether he has short hair or not!  I’m putting my trust in you!  So _get to work_.”

“Yurio...”  Viktor breathed, accepting Yuuri’s help getting up.  His knees shook like a baby lamb’s.  “What are you doing?  Lilia will kill you if she finds out you’re helping me.”

“No, she won’t.  I’m her son,” he said, but his voice cracked.  He grit his teeth at the mistake and shook his head sharply.  “I’ll be fine,” he insisted.  “This idiot showed up for you, so it’ll be easy to pin everything on him.  I was actually just about to break you out alone, so it works out.  I made that bag for your journey full of stuff.  I didn’t have a lot of time, but I hope it’ll help.”

Viktor took the bag from Yuuri and made to open it.

“-Don’t!”  Yurio said quickly, face flaring red.  “Wait until you’re out of here.”  He looked at Yuuri.  “Don’t tell me, you came in through the sewers, right?”

Yuuri nodded.

“Typical.  How do you think I found you?  I could smell you from a mile away.  Come on, I have a better way.  Follow me and _don’t fall behind_.”  He turned and walked down the staircase without another word.  Yuuri pulled Viktor’s arm over his shoulders and supported a bit of his weight while he curled his own arm around Viktor’s waist.  They stumbled after Yurio, but he had slowed for them all the while pretending he had not.

Yurio said, voice echoing softly through the stone halls, “I...I heard mother the other week, she thought I was with my tutor still or else she would’ve never had this conversation out in the open....  She was talking to the council about...about doing _this_ .  They were scared.  They didn’t want to.  Some of them are still loyal to Father and his wishes.  She just needed a reason to give them that final push, and you delivered it to her on a plate.  What were you _thinking_ with that plant, Vitya?  You knew they were already scared of you as it was.”  Yurio bit out in desperation.  “I know you love growing things, but this was so _stupid_.  She means it, Viktor.  She really means it this time.  She...she wants to kill you.  And she will.”

Viktor’s brows furrowed in sadness, but he did not look surprised.  “She’s always been waiting for this moment...  I messed up.  I’m so sorry, Yurio.”

Yurio laughed once, short and incredulous.  “ _You're_ apologizing?  Just be safe, Viktor.  Run and never come back.  I’ll find you one day...okay?  Just...stay alive until then.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Viktor promised.

Yurio led them into a large bedroom even more extravagant and overly furnished than Viktor’s had been.  There were several cats on the bed that perked their heads up and darted away as they entered.  Paintings of various noble felines hung up on the walls.

Yurio went to a large tapestry that swallowed the wall and pulled it back, exposing a hidden door.  It was small.  They’d have to crawl on their hands and knees.  Yurio unlocked it.

“There you go,” Yurio said.  He stared at it for a long moment, his whole body completely still, hand frozen to the door.  “Your way out,” he murmured softly, his voice going distant.  “Just like you always wanted.”

“...Yurio, I -”

“Wait.  Wait a second.”  Yurio turned suddenly, slipping his jacket off and putting it around Viktor’s shoulders.  He then ran to his bed, slipping over the covers and shoving his hand beneath the pillows.  What he pulled out was fairly large to be hiding in such a cramped spot.  

It was a lyre.  It was old and worn, but there was a certain charm to its age in the way it was still cared for, something that said it was treasured, loved.  

Viktor’s mouth popped open in a surprised “o”.

Yurio licked his lips and held it out with both hands, head bowed.  “I saw what she did to your harp.  It’s not like I ever liked your music or anything, but I...  I’m sorry.  I know you loved it and it reminded you of your mom and...  And I’m sorry about saying I threw this away.  I didn’t.  Obviously.  Here.  I’ll - I’ll let you borrow it.  Next time I see you, I want it back though.  So, um, don’t die.”

“Yurio,” Viktor whispered, hands outstretched as he felt the lyre again, ghostly trembling fingers reuniting with an old lost friend.  “You kept it...  And under your pillow?”  He breathed.

“I knew it was important to you.  I’m...sorry...for calling it trash.  I just was mad.”  He grew very still as both brothers stared at each other.  The moment was sad and breathless, balanced on the edge of a knife.  No time left, but...  

“I knew you’d always leave,” Yurio pushed out on a breath that trembled but fought for steadiness.  “I wanted you to stay...  But I get it now.  Go.  Before someone comes."  His tone hardened back to normal.  "Yuuri Katsuki, you’d better hold true to your word or I’m coming after you and I’ll make you _wish_ you were dead.  I promise you.”

“I will,” Yuuri said, grabbing Viktor by the shoulders and pulling him forward.  

“I love you, Yurio,” Viktor said, face so unbearably sad.  “Thank you.”

“You can repay me by learning to be a king out there.  Then, come back.  I don’t want to be next in line to the throne.  It’s too much work and I _hate_ dealing with people.”

“I’ll come back.  I swear I will.”

They left the castle through the secret door in Yurio’s room, facing the dark unknown nothingness in front of them.  Behind them, Viktor could just barely make out the softest of words, “I love you too, Vitya.”

 

* * *

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something sharp and sudden cut through the air. Yuuri heard it before he reacted: the sound of Viktor’s soft gasp.
> 
> Yuuri turned in time to see Viktor drop the bag from his hands. It rolled down the hill, a jumble of shaken thuds. There was a cut now across Viktor’s ear, bleeding slowly. Lodged in between two rocks behind them was an arrow.
> 
> Yuuri let his eyes follow its path to the archer, several meters away.
> 
> “Don’t move, Yuuri. If I see so much as a twitch, he dies.”

* * *

 

Viktor’s knuckles were white, clutching the lyre to his chest so tightly Yuuri swore he could hear it cracking beneath the pressure.  He turned to Viktor once, to say something about it - it was his mother’s after all, the very last thing he had of hers, and maybe he didn’t realize what he was doing to it - but at the sight of Viktor’s drained white face and pale powdered lips, Yuuri’s words caught in his throat and tumbled away.

Yuuri could see Viktor’s body trembling ever so slightly and his eyes were wide, as if shock had forgotten to release its hold.  His eyes looked bluer that way, stark and electric.  There was a vibrancy in the fear that made him appear even more otherworldly.  Nothing in the world could touch him.  Nothing in the world could heal him.

But despite all that, Viktor did not cry.  His mouth was set in a firm grim line, and though his eyes were wired, they stared only straight ahead.  He did not fidget or falter.  

Yuuri saw Viktor’s bravery and it stabbed through him that much more.  Yuuri nearly cried for Viktor, enough for the both of them.  It took all he had to fight against the lump that was lodged in his throat, painful and relentless.  Because Viktor was torn apart, trembling and in the face of having lost everything, and he was still fighting, still looking forward, not daring to shed a tear.  He was being so strong.  Stronger than Yuuri knew, and it hurt to see, like a newly blossomed flower pretending to be an old wise oak as it was trampled over and bruised.

So Yuuri closed his eyes and pretended to be strong too.  Took in deep breaths and tried to focus on breathing, to bring himself to the present and only that.  After awhile, the lie felt real enough and he could continue pushing forward.  Or stumbling more like, but it was all the same.

The pathway Yurio had allowed them to go through exited into a hallway meant for deliveries.  It looked old and unused for years probably, based on the cobwebs that hung from the ceilings and fuzzied up the floor.  

Soon enough, they were unbolting a small old door and pushing it open into bright glaring daylight.  The sun was gone, hidden behind dark ominous storm clouds.  Yuuri stared up at them, silently praying they were all bark and not bite.  As if they needed anything more to go wrong.

He cleared his throat.  “Phichit - you know him, I talk about him all the time - he’s at the gate ahead, more east than usual.  We can’t let him see us.”  He crept around the trees carefully, trying to see anything out of the ordinary.  It was obvious that anyone trying to escape would seek the cover of the forest, but running out through the open was an even worse option, especially as far as Phichit’s sharp eyesight was concerned.  The other guards might not have been alerted yet; the bells had yet to ring.  Yuuri silently prayed that was the case.

Viktor’s voice was soft, but somehow not surprised.  “I thought he was your friend.”

Yuuri was quiet as he led them through the trees.  “…I…  I don’t know.  Earlier, he wouldn’t let me through the gate.  And he was cold and…”  He trailed off, thinking of how Phichit was acting.  So different.  So unlike him.  “I’ve known him since before I could remember.  We grew up together.  …I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“Oh,” Viktor said softly, staring down at the floor, still clutching onto the lyre like a lifeline.

Yuuri reached back, gently touching Viktor’s arm and guiding him forward.  “Stay close to me.  If someone attacks, I…I might have to kill them.”

Viktor’s eyes slid up from the ground, finding their way to Yuuri’s.  A silent understanding ran through them, sad and breathless.  Neither of them were in charge of this hand dealt by fate.  Viktor nodded slowly, leaning closer to Yuuri as he let out a small winded breath.

“Have you killed anyone before…?”  He asked on a small voice.

Yuuri’s voice was softer.  “Today.  It was my first time.”

Viktor’s inhale shook.

Yuuri hated that.  Hated himself for it.  He had known killing would be a very real possibility when he decided to become a knight, but he had always secretly wished he’d never be presented with the situation.  Bored as he had been guarding the quiet empty halls of the castle all those long drawn out hours, he hadn’t been faced with the option of taking a life, and he had been silently grateful.  But now, he was different.  

He hadn’t actually known those men, but hadn’t he?  He was one of them.  Starved, cold, afraid, wanting to do what was right for the people they loved, wanting to feed them, care for them, survive.  And Yuuri had taken that away.  Their families were waiting for them to come back home and they’d never stop waiting.

Yuuri whispered, regret making his voice crack as despair overwhelmed him, “I'm sorry.”

“ _You're_ sorry?” Viktor let out a shaky breath. “What are you sorry for?  This is all my fault.  Yuuri, I -”

Yuuri cut Viktor off, quickly pulling him behind a tree.  Something was crunching through the snow.  They both crammed themselves together as they used it for cover, arm pressed into arm, leg pressed into leg.

They held their breaths. It made it easy to feel the other’s heart thumping madly in their chest.  Yuuri closed his eyes tightly, listening, hands clutching the hilt of his sword, praying, praying....

Steps?  Human?  Animal?  Few as they were in the wild, it wasn’t totally implausible, was it?  

One step, two, three...louder and louder and _here_ , _right here_.

Yuuri’s fingers clenched painfully.

...The noise receded.  

It slipped away, and then was gone completely.

Yuuri opened his eyes, slowly allowing himself to come back to his senses.  He looked up at Viktor. He had been watching him.

“Yuuri,” he said, something in his tone. Sympathetic almost, pitying.

Yuuri shook his head sharply.  He wasn’t sure if it was to ward off the conversation or a request for their safety.  “Let's not talk so freely anymore.  We're still too close to the castle.”

“But Yuuri-”

“No buts,” Yuuri tried firmly.

He nodded his attention forward and began to walk again, gesturing for Viktor to follow.  Each foot felt like he might be stepping on a landmine, unsure which would be his last.  He was three steps forward when he realized Viktor was not following.  He turned back, confused.

There was Viktor, feet planted, arms crossed, standing out in the open stubbornly.

“I’ve made up mind,” he said.  “Take me back,” Viktor demanded.  And it was a demand, not a request.  He held his head high, nose upturned, looking every bit of the prince Yuuri was sometimes convinced he was not.  But now he shone.  He looked one second away from stamping his foot and pointing to the ground.  “I command you to take me back.”

Yuuri stared, the moment stretching out.  He blinked at Viktor.  “No,” he said finally, walking back and giving Viktor's crossed arms a swift and firm chop to break them apart.

Viktor’s eyelashes fluttered in surprise.  “As your future king -”

“- _As your personal guard_ , I refuse.  I’ll protect you, even if it’s from yourself.”

“I-”

“I’m not taking you back, Viktor.  I know what you’re trying to do.  You don’t need to protect me.”  

“Yuuri,” Viktor said.  “That’s not it...at least, not the whole of it.  This isn’t your mess to clean up -”

Yuuri ignored him, snatching his arm and tugging Viktor after him.  He put a finger to his lips to shush Viktor.  

Viktor was quiet for a moment, the only sound of their feet crunching through snow, until he started again.  “I’ve never been out this way, Yuuri.  Not like this.  We’re not properly prepared.  We have no food, no map, no anything.  We’ll die out there.  If you bring me back, things will calm down soon enough and go back to how it used to be.  Everything will be fine.  I just won’t be able to do my music anymore and I always knew that day would come.  I’m thankful for the time I had with it.”

Yuuri didn’t even turn around.  “Viktor.  You heard what Yurio said.  The queen will kill you.  I saw the pea plant.  I saw the garden.  …Viktor, those bruises on you…  We’re not going back.  That’s final.”

“But your family!  Your friends!  You have a life here.  You can’t just leave.”  His brow furrowed as his eyes glistened in desperation.  “Let me leave by myself then.  You can stay home.  Everything will be okay.”

Yuuri’s face was unchanging, his voice firm and matter-of-fact, as if speaking with a stubborn child who wouldn’t face the obvious.  “No.  I’m going with you.  You won’t survive on your own.”

“I can fight a little!  I’m not as helpless as you think!”

Yuuri turned sharply, stopping in the snow.  “Viktor, I don’t think you’re helpless.  But the odds out there-”  he jabbed his finger to the forest that creaked as a gust of angry wind blew through “-are very slim.  Don’t you think they’d be a little better with the both of us together?”  He breathed out softly, exhausted mentally and physically already.  He grabbed Viktor’s hands in his own and held them as he looked into his eyes.  “Viktor.  You’re my friend.  You need help.  I can’t just leave you.”

Viktor’s mouth twisted.  He didn’t smile.  There was only an aching sadness in his eyes.  “I don’t want you to get hurt - you or your family - because of me.”

“This is my choice.  I decided years ago I’d become a knight to protect the royal family, to protect _you_ .  It had meant a lot to me then and it means even more to me now.  So let me do my job as your knight, and as your _friend_.  Do you understand, Viktor?”

“Yuuri...”

“Besides, we’re not totally empty-handed.”  He took the bag that Yurio had given them from his shoulder and held it out to Viktor.  “I’ll keep watch, you look through it.  Let’s keep walking.”

Viktor opened the top and the first thing he did was gasp, clasping his hand over his mouth and completely forgetting his previous quarrel.   “Oh, Yuuri!  Look!  My flowers!  So something did make it out okay...”  He laughed, the sort of laughter that was breathless and happy.  “After all those times he said they were awful...and here he was, taking them in secret.  I wondered where the lavender was disappearing to...  Here I was thinking it was you,” he smiled coyly, looking up at Yuuri.   

Yuuri smiled.  “I do like the lavender.”

“He gave us a few of them...  A map too, Yuuri!  We won’t be lost forever!  Oh!  A book!  Some food...  A knife...”

“Have you trained with a knife before?”  

“Um...”  Viktor bit his lip.  “...A little.”

“...I’ll give you a lesson when we have a chance.”

“Will you!”  Viktor said excitedly.

Laughter could be heard in the distance, unassuming and innocent.  Children playing.  Yuuri pressed his finger to his lips.

Viktor was holding the flowers with a thought forming in his eyes.  “Hey, Yuuri,” he murmured quietly.  “You're serious about this?  Completely sure?"

Yuuri sighed, opening his mouth to have the same argument that already felt way older than it actually was.

Viktor held his hand up, cutting him off.  He smiled briefly.  "Just making sure.  We might be gone for...for a long time.  Won’t your parents worry?”

“You’re still going on about that?  They’ll be okay.”

“You should leave them something.   _This_.  So they know you’re alright.”

Yuuri’s eyebrows rose.  “I...”

“We’re so close, Yuuri.  We can just slip in and slip out.  Won’t it be nice to leave them something hopeful?  So they know you got out.”  Viktor broke off, hand going to his side.  He stared down at the flowers for a second, twisting them between his fingers.  “M-maybe it’s stupid...”

“No,” Yuuri said slowly, blinking quickly.  “It’s not stupid.  We’re going right past it.  Let’s just...”  

He diverted their path just so, slipping through the forests with even more care now that they were near the village.  He could see the back of his house at the bottom of the hill.  The cover from the trees should be enough.  

The window at the back wall was supposedly locked, but Yuuri knew if he slipped his fingers into the crack, he could dislodge it easily.  Up it went.  

He was about twelve inches too short to make it into the window.  He looked around for something to put beneath him when Viktor crouched, holding his hands out.  

“Here, allow me.”

He blinked.  Stepping on the crown prince’s hands seemed wrong somehow, especially when he had just been slumming around in the sewers.  

But Viktor was smiling brightly, nodding to his hands expectantly.  A friend, not a prince.

“Thank you,” Yuuri murmured, putting a hand on Viktor’s shoulder as he stepped up and into the window.  Viktor held out the lavender bushel for him and he reached out for it, bringing it quickly to the table.  

He thought of writing a note.  Something quick.  A goodbye they deserved.  But what could he possibly write that could encompass all his love and gratitude he had for them?  He thought the flowers - something so rare, a sight unseen - said it all, said it better.  He wished he could see their faces when they would first see the lavender.  He remembered how he felt when he first laid his eyes on the garden.  Here was a piece of it, one of the last ones - a small thank you.  A small goodbye.

He reached into the chest at the foot of his bed and quickly whipped out his hat.  He pulled his blanket off his bed, rolling it into small form in record time.

Bells rang out in the distance, loud and alarming.  The startling chiming echoed off the mountains, bouncing the sound all around them in disorientating circles, pressing in on them from all directions.  

He sprinted to the window and jumped out, landing in the snow besides Viktor.  

“Bells,” Viktor breathed.  “They know.”

Yuuri shoved the hat over Viktor’s head and grabbed him by the hand tightly.  “Come on.”

They ran.  

 

Viktor, a prince who had been locked away all his life, did not have the endurance of a knight.  Even if Yuuri wasn’t given the missions to go outside like Phichit, set to stay inside and stand still and proper for hours on end...even then, Viktor was lagging.  Yuuri could see it in the bright red that had risen high in Viktor’s cheeks, and the gasps of breath that tore up and out of Viktor’s throat, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.  

“I’m fine,” Viktor coughed when Yuuri turned to look at him, worry wrinkling his brow.  “Really.  We can keep going.”

Yuuri slowed, looking behind them.  There was no sign of any other knights.  They were deep in the forest, past the village.  If anyone would be following them, it’d be a wild animal, but that thought didn’t scare Yuuri any less.  His hand kept a constant grip on his sword.

“I’ve never come out this far,” Yuuri muttered.  “But Phichit has.  He used to talk about it with me.  If it’s still the same, there should be a large dead tree up here.  Behind it will be a hole in the ground.  If we climb down it, there’s a tunnel that’ll take us out of here.  It should be warmer, without the snow, and possibly hidden from enemies.  What do you think?”

Viktor coughed into his hand again, nodding vehemently.  “Whatever you think, Yuuri.”

“We can take a break there...  Though it might be dark.  He said there’s light, but I wouldn’t know.  My mother and father would’ve killed me if I ever left the village.”  

“So you’ve never been out here either,” Viktor hummed under his breath.  

“No.”  

Uncertainty hung over them like a thick cloud.

Viktor cleared his throat, speaking with forced cheer.  “Well, we have a map now thanks to Yurio.  We just have to decide where to go.”

“We’ll decide next break.  I don’t feel right out in the open like this.”

They weren’t exactly out in the open.  The trees hadn’t receded and these parts weren’t cleared of rocks and debris.  Everything was either white or dead, and after awhile, everything began to look the same.  Yuuri worried that he’d lead them in a circle and find their way back to the village.  He also worried about meeting someone.  What if it was just a lost villager and he killed him out of fear?  What if it was a knight pretending to be a villager, preying on their naivete?  Yuuri worried.

Soon enough, they came upon the large dead tree, just as Phichit had mentioned.  He let out a breath of relief.  

“Just like you said,” Viktor muttered, looking at its base.  “I don’t see the hole though.”

Yuuri didn’t either.  He knelt down and pressed into the roots.  They were everywhere, large and grounded mixed in with the thin stringy bits that got everywhere. They formed a layer over the ground like a sheet of moss.  He ripped through parts of it and eventually found the opening they searched for.  

“It really is hidden well,” he murmured.  “No one should be able to find us if we put it back over the top.”

Viktor’s smile was weary but true.  “Thank goodness.  I think I need about a week’s worth of sleep.”

“We could probably afford a bit,” Yuuri said hesitantly.  “Here, I’ll go down first.  Follow me carefully.”

The path down was full of rugged terrain and slippery rocks, but it wasn’t impossibly steep and Yuuri waited patiently for Viktor, who, tired as he looked, didn’t seem to have many problems climbing down.  He was a natural, of course, and Yuuri let out another breath of relief in the span of a few minutes.

Maybe they could do this after all.  Each step forward gave Yuuri more and more confidence.  Viktor was surprising him.  Yuuri was surprising himself.  He had assumed they wouldn't even make it out of the castle before they were caught and killed, and definitely not the village, but here they were, in the forest.  

His feet hit solid ground and he jumped down, holding his hands out for Viktor.  

Viktor smiled as he stepped down and looked around, dirt smeared on his face next to his bruise, his hair a tangled mess beneath the hat, and his pants not even stuffed into his boots yet.  But he was a beautiful mess.  Yuuri found himself staring despite the situation.  

Viktor looked over at Yuuri, eyes bright.  “Look at where we are!  Like a cave of wonders.”

Yuuri let his eyes wander away toward their surroundings.  It was impressive, he supposed, but it was hard to be excited about its beauty when really all he was seeking was the comfort of safety.  Were they safe here?  It smelled thickly like dirt and stone, but he supposed it was as good as they could hope for, so it would have to do.  The beauty thing would have to hit him later.  

There was a crack in the ceiling, overrun by long tangled roots that let sunlight through like mesh.  Sunlight, or rain.  The chill in the air told Yuuri it wouldn’t be too long before they were going to get drenched.  

But for now, there were only rays of light streaming down, illuminating Viktor’s pale face with the appearance of warmth.  

He looked over, eyes big with hope.  “Can we rest, Yuuri?  I’m going to collapse soon.”

“Let’s just go a bit further in.  I don’t like being right at the entrance.”

Viktor agreed, and when they went through the tunnel far enough in where Yuuri felt comfortable, they set out the blanket and collapsed beside each other side-by-side, letting their weary bones take a much needed rest.  

“It feels wonderful to rest,” Viktor hummed, letting his head fall against the wall and his eyes close.   “You’re a beast.”  Viktor chuckled under his breath.

“A beast?”  Yuuri also let his eyes close for a moment, ears still on high alert.

“Definitely.  You barely look tired.  I don’t have half the amount of stamina you have apparently.  You could probably keep going, couldn’t you?”

Yuuri grunted wearily under his breath.  “If I had to, I would.  But honestly, I feel like I got tossed down a mountain and have yet to stop rolling.”

“Well, you were wonderful...”  Viktor said softly.  

“It’s you I’m surprised about,” Yuuri said, blinking his eyes open to stare at Viktor again.  “You’re taking all this really well.  ...All things considered.”

Viktor hummed under his breath, letting his feet stretch out.  “I always knew this day would come.  Well, I hoped it wouldn’t, but...I sort of knew that maybe she’d get tired of me and make a move.  I would stay awake at nights sometimes, thinking of all the horrible scenarios that could play out when she realized she didn’t have to keep me around anymore.  It used to really bother me.  I found solace in music though, and...and I’d always _hoped_.”

He smiled over at Yuuri, warmth flooding his eyes.  “I’ll tell you one thing though: none of the horror scenarios I thought up ever included anyone saving me.  And then you came blazing in like this golden warrior, sword in hand, stance tall, and magnificent as a _dragon_.  Oh, Yuuri, I wish you had seen yourself.  You were so cool.  I thought I was dreaming for the first few minutes.  You really are my knight in shining armor.  I was so happy when I realized it was real.  I still am.”

Yuuri laughed raggedly under his breath.  “I wasn’t anything like that.  I was so scared I probably could’ve peed myself.  That would’ve scared everyone away.”

Viktor laughed, full-out joyful laugh.  “Even still, Yuuri, you _came_.”

Yuuri breathed out sharply.  If he hadn’t come, hadn’t even tried, would Viktor be stumbling through the forests alone?  Would Yurio have gone with him?  Two young princes, sought out by their queen, facing death from every angle.  The thought physically hurt Yuuri.  He sought out Viktor’s hand and took it in his own.  “In the morning, I saw that plant outside; it was crushed and ripped apart with such a wild hand.  I knew...  I thought I’d be too late.”

“No,” Viktor said simply, squeezing Yuuri’s hand back.  “Just in time.  Like a hero.”

Yuuri snorted without heat.  “I just...I wish I had known earlier.  Before your mother’s harp...before the garden was burned...before you were hurt.  ...If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand, but...but who did that to you?”  In the dimness of the cavern’s shadows, he could still see the starkness of Viktor’s bruises.  He reached his hand out gently, ghosting over them.  Even without direct contact, they were warmer than the rest of Viktor’s skin, raw with stories to tell.  “Does it hurt?”

Viktor leaned into Yuuri’s touch, smiling gently.  “Not so much.  It’s not a big deal.  It happened before the morning.  I had just woken up thinking of you, Yuuri.  I was so inspired and I had this song in my head that felt _perfect_ , and I wanted to get out and practice it before you came.  So I went down the garden, expecting everything to be empty, of course, but there she was, looking around.  I don’t think she had expected me either.  Ah...”  

He scratched his nose awkwardly.  Yuuri watched his face and he knew Viktor was thinking hard, editing out parts that were too painful, too fresh and brutal to speak aloud.  “I don't know how she found out about the flowers outside and the peas, but she did.  We fought for a bit.  She had always warned me not to use my magic anywhere for any reason.  The garden was the _only_ exception, she had made that very clear, and she had only allowed that because my father had told her to and it kept me busy and out of her way.

“I confronted her about the lack of food in the village.  She had always told Yurio and me that everything was _fine_ down there, but when I told her it wasn’t, she wasn’t surprised.  She knew, Yuuri.  The whole time.  She knew and she never intended to do anything about it.”  He looked shocked and sad, like it wasn’t something Yuuri had known about his entire life.  

“She said she’d been giving me too much leeway as it was and I was dangerous and could uproot this whole kingdom, so...”  He let out a little cough, sniffing.  “She burned everything down.  I tried to fight her, but did you know she’s trained with the best fighters in the mountains?  She’s really quite skilled.  I was no match for her at all.  Even watching my mother’s harp burn...surrounded in those flames...”  He bit his lip, pushing down the grimace that was surfacing to his features.  “...Couldn’t do anything.  She dragged me to the tower and locked me up.  That’s really all there is to it.”

“Viktor,” Yuuri rushed out into the silence that followed.  “I’m so sorry...  You were trying to help us...”

“Don’t do that,” Viktor said, sitting up straight and flicking Yuuri gently on the nose.

“Do what?”  Yuuri blinked, horrified he’d said something wrong.

“Apologize!  It’s not your fault.  I’m going to be king.  It’s my duty to worry about my people.”  He licked his lips, eyes shifting downward.  Quietly, he said, “And beyond that, you’re my friend.  Of course I want to help you.  Isn’t that what you said to me earlier?”

“Yes...”  Yuuri said, but from his tone, a ‘but’ was sure to follow.

Viktor held up a hand to stop him.  “Yuuri.  You were right earlier.  We’re both friends.  It’s okay to do things for each other, right?  And if you’re starving and cold all the time, can’t I try to do something for you?  Besides, all I did was mention it.  I wish I could do so much more.”  He sighed, eyes going distant as he thought.  “My mother...she would’ve set everything right.  With one song, she’d summon spring.  Warmth.  Food.  ...My mother was amazing.  I wish I could do that, but I'm too weak.”  He sniffed.  “One plant and I get dizzy...”

“I think what you can do is amazing.”

Viktor smiled faintly, shifting the bag onto his lap and clinging to it for comfort, one hand still holding onto Yuuri’s.  “Thanks, Yuuri...”

Yuuri opened his mouth to say something when thunder boomed loudly.  In the cavern, the sound bounced back and forth around them, jostling their brains.

And then, the sound of heavy rain followed behind, immediate and relentless.

“Oh, no,” Yuuri sighed, peering up toward the open crack in the ceiling where snow was beginning to slip through in huge chunks.  Soon enough, the ground would become soaked. “Maybe there will be higher ground up ahead.  Can you walk?”

“Of course,” Viktor said, pulling himself up.  

They collected their stuff but didn’t pack it away, settling for holding it in their hands as they sought out proper cover.  

“Rain,” Yuuri laughed over the noise.  “Any other day and I would’ve been ecstatic.  But of course, it has to melt the snow in our space.”

Viktor managed a laugh too.  “Still feels cold.”

“It does.  But look, up this hill looks dry.  We can probably -”

Something sharp and sudden cut through the air.  Yuuri heard it before he reacted: the sound of Viktor’s soft gasp.

Yuuri turned in time to see Viktor drop the bag from his hands.  It rolled down the hill, a jumble of shaken thuds.  There was a cut now across Viktor’s ear, bleeding slowly.  Lodged in between two rocks behind them was an arrow.

Yuuri let his eyes follow its path to the archer, several meters away.

“ _Phichit,_ ” Yuuri breathed in horror.  

“Don’t move, Yuuri.  If I see so much as a twitch, he dies.”

_What_ had he been thinking?  He was feet ahead of Viktor, too far away to launch himself over Viktor to protect him, and his hands were full of their blanket, too occupied to grab his sword quickly enough to do anything.  Phichit’s bow was raised already, arrow nocked, held in position right at Viktor’s back.  

“Viktor, don’t move,” Yuuri whispered, staring over the both of them through wide eyes.  “He won’t hurt you.”

Viktor stood there, stiff, back turned to Phichit and eyes trained on Yuuri’s face.  

“I already did, Yuuri,” Phichit called in that strange unfamiliar tone.  “See that on his ear?  It’s blood.”  He stepped forward slowly, keeping his bow held ready.  “Oh, wait.  Maybe you do know what it is after all.  The whole castle is in an uproar.  A trail of dead soldiers leading to the prince’s room?  Everyone’s saying you kidnapped him.”

“Wh-what?  Kidnapped?  No, I -”

“There’s a bounty on your head.  If I kill you right now, Yuuri, I could live the rest of my life like a king.  If I kill _him_ , the entire _village_ could live like kings.”

Yuuri could barely dare to breathe.  

Viktor swallowed hard and opened his mouth to say something.

“Don’t speak,” Phichit said quickly, voice light and in control.  He had stepped close enough that he was only a foot away.  Yuuri could see his expression well, but he still couldn’t decipher it.  “She says she wants the prince back, but she doesn’t mind if he’s dead or alive.”

“Phichit,” Yuuri forced out, breathless.  Thunder roared overhead, making him jump.  The wind was thrashing angrily, howling and livid.  “I don’t know what the queen said to you about everything, but she’s lying.  Remember all the rumors we used to hear about Viktor?  How he could save us?  They’re all true.  He’s amazing, Phichit.  If you just got to know him, you’d understand.  It’s the queen, Phichit.  It’s her.  She’s the one who doesn’t care about us, she’s the one who’s twisted and _evil_.  Even if you did kill us, I doubt she’d give you any sort of reward, no matter what she promised.  Come over here and look at Viktor.  She hurt him.  I had to get him out before she hurt him worse.  Come look.”

“By you?  Do you think I’m stupid?  It’d be the perfect opportunity to try to disarm me.  Yuuri, you’re too obvious.”

“ _Phichit_.  No, just listen to me!  You’re my best friend, dammit!  You’re supposed to trust me!”

“You?”  Phichit breathed, voice burning.  He adjusted his aim in one quick movement, pointing it right on Yuuri.  “Trust you?  Is that what friends do, Yuuri?  Because I wouldn’t know!   _My_ best friend has been sneaking around behind my back and _lying to my face_ these past few months.  You’ve been having the prince over to your house for tea parties and casual get togethers?  Without a single mention of it to me?  Me?  Yuuri, you were like a brother to me and I had to find out about all of this through the _queen_ when she was telling me to _kill you_.”

“...Phichit,” Yuuri breathed.  

"Why wouldn't you tell me?  Did you think I'd betray you?  Did you think I'd turn you in?  Why didn't you trust me?  I could've helped you!"

Words caught in his throat, but they were all wrong and he discarded them.  He couldn't think of what to say.  He just stared.  "I..."

Phichit tsked and lowered his bow.  His chest was heaving from emotion.  He took a quiet moment to collect himself, the only sound the rain raging up above.  Then he said wearily, “...You left him wide open.  If it had been anyone else besides me, your prince would be dead.”

Viktor was still standing stiffly, staring at Yuuri as his lifeline.  

Yuuri looked down at him then back up to Phichit.  He licked his lips.  His mouth had long since gone dry.  “You’re not going to...?”

“ _No_ ,” Phichit sighed, rubbing his palm to his forehead.  He sniffed and shook his head, saying again, softer, “no.”

It was reprieve.

Yuuri let out a small strangled noise, dropping the blanket and sprinting to Viktor.  He tossed his arms around him, dragging him close.  They pressed their bodies together as tightly as they could manage.  

Viktor’s legs gave out as relief flooded him and Yuuri followed him down to the floor.  He let out a small breathy, “oh,” and clung to Yuuri’s waist shakily as he pressed his face into Yuuri’s shoulder.  It was unbelievably nice, after believing moments before he might die, to be reveling in the comfort of being held by Yuuri so tenderly. 

Phichit just watched, eyes were raw and confused, as they both sunk to the floor holding each other.  He'd never seen that look on Yuuri's face ever.  “Just how long have you two known each other...?”

Yuuri’s focus was still on the limp one in his arms, running his hands through Viktor’s hair to coax his head back.  Yuuri’s eyes searched Viktor’s tired face.  “Are you okay?  Are you alright?”

Viktor hummed in affirmation, letting out a small breathy chuckle, “I’m not sure how much more my heart can take of this adventure...”

“Oh, you’re fine,” Yuuri laughed, not because it was funny at all, but because Viktor was laughing, and somehow their laughter made everything seem far less worse.  “You’re fine,” he said again, letting Viktor snuggle back into his shoulder with a soft groan.  

“Yuuri, I’m sorry,” Phichit said, shifting onto one foot.  “I didn’t mean to scare you that badly, but I don’t think you understand the situation.  Basically every single knight she’s ever trained is littering this forest right now, hunting for your head.  Do you know how scared I was?  This is like some sort of sick nightmare.  I thought the next time I’d see you was being carried in a bag like game for a reward.  I could only pray that you remembered this route...  That was years ago I mentioned it.”

“It was an interesting story,” Yuuri hummed, looking over at Phichit as he still clung to Viktor.  “So you’re not really mad?”

Phichit shook his head gently.  “No.  ...Well, I’m maybe a little mad, but not...  I’d never hurt you, Yuuri.  I was _so scared_.  I had no idea what to do.  I’m sorry you thought...back at the castle...  I had heard the other knights talking about searching for a black haired soldier with glasses and I worried it might be you.  You’ve been acting strangely.  I had to force Guang-Hong to let me stand beside him.  He was afraid the queen would find out and send us all to the guillotine.  And then you come running up like wolves are chasing you...  I didn’t know it had to do with the prince at the time.”

“Not that you’d have let me in anyway.”

“No.  I couldn’t see you get hurt.  But those things I said, they weren’t true at all, Yuuri.  You understand, don’t you?  You wouldn’t leave and I had to think of something to get you to go.  I was lying about you being a bad knight.  You know I’d never think that.”

Yuuri laughed on a faint breath, eyes fluttering downward.  “Well, you weren’t wrong...  You are the better knight.”

“You can’t possibly think that!  We trained together since we were kids.  You always win.”

Yuuri couldn’t deny that, but winning mattered little when you couldn't protect the person who you swore to keep safe.  Viktor was still in his arms, slight tremors running through him.  Not to mention how he was afraid to kill.  Flashes of memory jabbed into him, the blood of the men he had killed staining his hands, seeping across the floor.  He tried to push the memory away, but it still stabbed right through him.  He grit his teeth and bore it.  That was not a good knight.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Yuuri said.  “It feels safer with you.”

Phicht wasn’t fully listening, he was watching Viktor.  He took a step closer, setting the bow down and kneeling beside them.  “Is he okay...?”  He asked hesitantly, like he was observing some strange animal in its natural habitat, one that might snap at him at any moment.

Viktor hadn’t moved from his spot in Yuuri’s arms, but he did then.  Bravely, he pulled himself up and dusted his hair out of his face.  He offered his hand in greeting, putting on his winning bright smile, but he remained in Yuuri’s lap.  “Phichit Chulanont.  I’ve heard a lot about you from Yuuri.  It’s nice to finally meet you.  Call me Viktor.”

Phichit stared at the hand for a second before carefully reaching for it, allowing Viktor to grab it in a handshake.  “N-nice to meet you.  I apologize for shooting you in the ear, Your Highness.  I was trying to make a point, but in hindsight, I probably should’ve done something a little different that didn’t involve you bleeding...”

Viktor reached up to the nick, feeling it tenderly.  “It was a very good shot.”

Phichit let out a nervous chuckle that already sounded like it was filled with regret.  “Um.  You look exhausted.  Both of you.  Where will you even go?”

“Neither of us have really been out in these parts, Phichit.  Where would you think?”

“No?”  Phichit’s face fell in dismay.  “Not even the prince?”

Viktor shook his head, cheerful pretense fading as his energy waned.  He leaned into Yuuri again.  “We have a map.  I have...allies.  People I could probably trust.”

“‘Probably’...”  Yuuri echoed dubiously.

“Oh,” Phichit said, looking down at the bag that had rolled down the hill, spewing out a few bundles of flowers and the map.  He went after then, stopping as he reached out for the flowers.  “Is that...?”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”  Yuuri said.  “Viktor grew them.  With his music.”

“What?”  Phichit blinked, gaze flickering over them before he went back to collecting the items and carefully putting them into the bag.  He set it in front of them and sat down again.  “Your music?”

Viktor hummed and smiled tiredly as Yuuri explained.  “I’ve never seen anything like it, Phichit.  It’s amazing.  When he sings, plants grow up from the ground!  Even in the snow.  Flowers, trees, _food_.  He’s magic, Phichit, just like you said.”

Phichit blinked blankly.  A small smile played on his lips.  “Oh, come on.  You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

“I wish I could show you,” Viktor breathed deeply.  “But I don’t think I can right now.  I’m too drained.”

Phichit watched the both of them, biting his lip with worry.  “...If you trust me enough, I could keep watch while you sleep.  Everyone’s rabid to find you, but I doubt they’ll find that opening unless they know where to specifically find it, but no one will suspect if I don’t return for a few hours.  Or I could leave.  I’d understand if you’re not comfortable with me here.”

“Any friend of Yuuri’s is a friend of mine,” Viktor said easily.

“We trust you, Phichit,” Yuuri said.  “And I’m sorry about not telling you about Viktor before.  I was scared you’d try to get me to stop seeing him and I didn’t want that.  I knew it was irrational to always go...  Dangerous and stupid, but I...”

It dawned on Phichit and his eyes widened, looking to Viktor.  “The music...  That was _you_.”

“Hmm?”  Viktor murmured sleepily, eyes already closed as he rested comfortably into Yuuri.

“You followed the music,” Phichit accused Yuuri.  “After I told you not to.”

Yuuri smiled, unable to feel guilty.  “I can’t explain it, Phichit...  His music is...it’s _special_.”

“Well, if it grows plants from the ground, especially around _here_ , I daresay it is.”

Yuuri snorted, a chuckle rumbling in his chest.  It started small, but developed into something more until he was overcome.  He tried to stay still for Viktor, but it rolled out of him helplessly.  

Viktor cracked his eyes open sleeping, lifting his head to watch Yuuri’s face as he laughed.  Fondness overcame Viktor’s features and he chuckled.  

Phicht was laughing too, though he looked confused.  “Oh, boy, you really _are tired_.  You’ve completely lost it.”

“Agh,” Yuuri gasped.  “No, it’s just...the stress of it and then the relief and ah....there are so many emotions flooding through me right now.  Too many to know what to do with.  I don’t think I’ve ever been this exhausted.”  He scooted the both of them to the large boulder and fell flat onto his back.  Viktor shifted, not giving up his spot on using Yuuri like a pillow.  

Phichit grabbed the blanket and spread it out over them.  “Sleep well now.  I’ll watch out for you both.”

“I don’t even know if I can sleep,” Yuuri murmured, cricking his neck so he could look at Viktor.  

He was asleep already, even with all the moving around and squirming.  He slept like he lived, trusting and carefree.  And beautiful.  Yuuri thought that he almost looked even more beautiful asleep, with serenity settled over his features and the soft fluttering of his long eyelashes.  But then there wasn't the color of his eyes, or the warmth of his smile...Yuuri couldn't decide.  It was like asking if lavender was more beautiful than a rose; they were both rare miracles that graced their earth.

He wanted to reach out and brush his fingers across Viktor’s face, but their position was already two leaps too familiar than Yuuri felt ready.  Somehow, it just happened, and neither of them were awake enough to protest.

Phichit was watching Yuuri look at Viktor.  He smiled, a hint of coyness playing on his lips.  “So, tell me, how long have you known him?  Really.”

“Um...almost a year now,” he said, not taking his eyes away from Viktor, who crinkled his nose in his sleep.  

“...Wow,” Phichit said softly.  “So it only takes a few months for little Yuuri Katsuki to fall in love.”

“Wh-what?”  Yuuri stammered, eyes shooting over to his best friend.  “Stop that!  We’re just friends.”

“We’re just friends and you don’t ever hold _me_ like that,” Phichit snorted, smile growing playfully.  He pressed his fingers to his lips to suppress his laughter.

“He’s just  _clingy_ .  He’s lived a different life than we have.  He’s more open.  Untouched by the world...”   _Beautiful_ , he almost said, but then he realized that wouldn’t help his case.  And besides, Phichit was beautiful too, but it was just...different.  He sighed, eyes falling onto the bruises.  “...Besides, he’s just been through...a lot.  More than he’ll tell me.  Maybe more than he’ll ever say.”

“Maybe so have you, Yuuri.”

Yuuri looked back up.  “Oh, no, not me.  This isn’t about me.  I’m completely fine.”

“You’re leaving home, Yuuri.  Your family, me, everything you’re familiar with.  I don’t think you’re completely fine.”

He hesitated, thinking.  He was trying to push every thought about it away.  He didn’t have any time to spare to be homesick.  He needed to save his energy for other things.  But at the same time, yes, he would miss home more than he could bear.  Yuuri reached his hand over to brush a stray hair away from Viktor’s face.  “...He’s suffering more...”

“Yuuri, Yuuri,” Phichit sighed, stretching his legs out and leaning back into his hands.  “It’s not a competition.  Learn to lean on others a bit.”

“Okay,” he allowed.

“Starting off with... _this_.”  Phichit shoved his hand into his armor, pulling out an old piece of parchment.  He laid it out in front of Yuuri, who carefully sat up, repositioning Viktor so he was curled up on his lap.  He didn’t even wake up.

“So maybe you already have a map,” Phichi said, holding his finger up.  “But does your map have _awesome pictures_?”  He pointed out the scribbled blob that sort of looked like a cat.  “A dragon!”  He claimed.  “My brother and his buddies have been far and wide on their adventures, and whenever he’d tell me a story I’d draw it on here.  So wherever you go, you’ll know what you’ll be dealing with.”

“A dragon, Phichit?”  Yuuri frowned.  “What’s this over here?”

“An _evil sorcerer_.  Be careful of him.  See the three different kinds of magic at the end of his staff?  That’s literal.  He can summon fire, ice, and thunder.  My brother said he barely got away alive.”

Yuuri sniffed, eyes glancing around the page, absorbing the images.  There were many, and Yuuri had to admit, they were incredibly helpful if they were accurate.  He rubbed his nose, sniffing.  Despite being under the protection of the cave, it was still cold, and his nose was beginning to cause him problems.  “...Your brother,” Yuuri said softly.  “Is he also looking for us?”

Phichit’s eyebrows rose high.  “No.  He’s a country away right now.  Even if he wasn’t, you know he wouldn’t, Yuuri.  He likes you a lot.  He’d be on your side.”

“That’s good,” Yuuri mumbled.  

“Besides...where do you think I got all my stories about the magnificent prince Viktor?”  Phichit smiled.  “My brother would freak if I told him the prince was laying in your lap right now.  You know, you could probably draw a mustache on his face and he wouldn’t wake up.”

“ _Phichit_.”

“Not that he’d mind.  He looks at you with such admiration, I think you could shave off both of his eyebrows and he’d still think you were the best thing on earth.”

“Phichit, stop.  It’s not like that, really.  We care about each other, but he’s the _prince_ and I’m just...I’m just me.”

“The one who saved him from death, you mean?  I don’t think that keeps you in the ‘just me’ bracket.”

“Well, if it hadn’t been you following us earlier, like you said, he would be dead right now.  So I’m doing a lousy job at my rescue mission so far.”

Phichit’s smile slipped right off his face.  “Yuuri, I am sorry about that.  I meant to make a point, but...”

“No.  I’m glad you did.  It made me realize there’s no second chance.  I need to be far more careful.”  He took in a deep shuddering breath.  “I’ve just never done anything like this before, Phichit.  Mom and Dad would’ve _killed me_ if I even looked outside the village’s boundary too long.   I never even dreamed of setting foot outside it for as long as I lived and now?  I still can’t believe it.  And Viktor too.  Neither of us know what we’re doing...  We’re just running.”

Phichit watched helplessly.  Yuuri was one of his favorite people, plain and simple, and he never wanted to see him suffer.  

He smiled weakly.  “All of our problems were supposed to be over once we became knights,” Phichit laughed softly.

“They’re definitely different kinds of problems,” Yuuri said.  “But Phichit, no matter what happens, I want you to know I have no regrets.”

“It sounds like you’re saying goodbye, Yuuri.  Don’t give up yet.”

“I’m not.  It’s not like that.  But if we can’t ever come back...I’m grateful for you and proud to call you my best friend.”

Phichit smiled, warm happiness flushing his cheeks.  “Yuuko and Takeshi are going to be so jealous when I tell them you called me your best friend.”

Yuuri snorted.  “Oh, come on, like they don’t already know.  They’re important to me too!  ...Everyone in the village is.”

“I’ll take care of them, Yuuri,” Phichit vowed, his eyes flashing with the sincerity of it.  “Our friends, your home, your family.  I’ll do everything in my power to see them all safe and well.”  He nodded to Viktor.  “I see you gave away your poor mom’s hat again.  I’m going to have to make her a new one, you know, since her rotten son keeps giving them away.”

Yuuri smiled, heart about ready to burst from fondness for Phichit.  “I knew I could count on you, Phichit.  You’re my best friend.  I love you.”

Phichit grinned brightly, crawling over to Yuuri and tossing his arm around his shoulders.  “My little Yuuri opening up to me, at long last!”  He pinched Yuuri’s cheeks and ruffled his hair into a big crazy mess.  “I love you too, Yuuri.  Sometimes even more than my own brother if I'm being honest.”

They both laughed, settling into companionable silence.  

Rain and melted snow were collecting down below, but at the top, where they lay out together, it was blissfully dry.  Yuuri’s feet were beginning to ache now that they had settled down, but it was a good ache, healing and warm.  

Viktor’s hair kept getting in his face.  It’d slip down like silk, tickling his eye and making him wrinkle his nose.  Yuuri found himself reaching over again, the movement so natural, and brushing it away, tucking it behind his ear.  

“I wish you could come with us, Phichit.”

Phichit hummed under his breath.  “And ruin your romantic getaway?  Here you are declaring your love for me _finally_ after all these years and I still feel like such a third wheel.”

Yuuri laughed, the sound loud and genuine.  Viktor stirred slightly in his sleep, murmuring sweetly.  

Phichit said, “he’s beautiful, Yuuri.  ...Be careful.”

“Hm?”  Yuuri said, fingers still running through Viktor’s hair.  At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was more to comfort Viktor or himself.

“I know you and I see you right now and...you either shut yourself off completely, or give your entire being away.  I know you’ve known him far longer than I have and I trust your judgement, but don’t forget that he’s just another person, just like you.  He can’t pull the stars from the sky.”

A smile grew on Yuuri’s lips.  “He can sing flowers from the ground though.”

Phichit laughed, eyebrows going up patiently.  “Okay, you know what I mean!  Trust your instincts and don’t forget that sometimes your brain knows best, okay?”  He sighed, rubbing his temple.  He masked his frustration with a short chuckle.  “I don’t know what I’m trying to say, just...  He seems...high maintenance.  And not in the ‘he’s going to complain the entire trip’ sort of way, but more like...trouble is going to find you and hound you but no matter what happens, no matter where you or he ends up, you’ll always have people who love you and care for you.  If you need help, find me.”

Yuuri hummed.  Viktor’s eyelashes were silver, probably not even made of the same stuff everyone else’s were.  He was made of stardust.  Yuuri was made of dirt.  He could look at Viktor forever and never get bored.  “Nothing’s going to happen,” Yuuri promised.  “Viktor is...he’s more than you think.  Phichit.  I wish we had the time for you to get to know him like I do.  Nothing bad is going to happen.”

Phichit forced Yuuri to sleep not long after that.  He thought he wouldn’t be able to, but soon enough, he was dreaming in swirls of color, their movement flitting and dangerous, ripping past him at the speed of light.  Too fast, too fast, he couldn’t keep up.  He was tripping on his feet, sinking into darkness, drowning, drowning...down, down, down.

Someone was shaking him.

He groaned softly and rolled on his back.  His whole body was stiff and creaky and he was starving.  Not a good way to wake up.  

He forced his bleary eyes a crack open and found himself staring up into bright blue ones, only inches away.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Viktor laughed breathily.  He poked Yuuri’s nose.  “Did you know your whole face pinches up in an unhappy little frown when you’re sleeping?  You’re going to give yourself wrinkles and look like an old man by the time you’re thirty.”

Yuuri groaned, playfully swatting him out of the way as he pushed himself up.  “You look a lot better,” he smiled in relief.  

Viktor smiled sympathetically as he watched Yuuri stretch out his arms and wrists.  He handed over his glasses.  “You still look really tired...”

“It’s just my face.  Not a morning person.  Phichit says my eyes shrink down to half their size in my sleep and it take awhile for them to grow back.”  He looked around.  “Where is he...?”

“Went to check if the coast is clear a bit ago.  He told me to wake you up sooner, but you looked so peaceful it took me awhile to gather up the courage.  You’re cute when you sleep.”  He was beaming at Yuuri, sitting on his feet with his hands tightly in his lap, looking full of nervous bright energy.  

Yuuri very nearly almost leaned forward to brush the hair from Viktor’s face again.  He blushed red as he had to physically force his hand into submission, clenching it tightly in a ploy to calm it.  He _really_ wanted to touch Viktor, especially now that he was awake, aware.  Had it only been last night that Viktor was curled on top of him, clinging to his shirt, face buried in his chest?  They had seemed so close.  The moment felt so distant.  

And now, they were sitting a foot apart, both blushing at just that proximity alone.  

Yuuri let out a breath, searching for something to divert his attention.  “Did you see the map that Phichit gave us?  His brother liked to explore so they should be pretty decent.”

“Oh, yes,” Viktor nodded in excitement, snatching it up to set it out in between them.  “Look at this!  A dragon!  I want to see this one first!”

Yuuri chuckled.  “We should probably think about a place to stay and well, you know, safety things first _before_ the sight seeing.”

“Oh, sure.  I was just thinking if we’re going to the nearest village, we’re cutting across right here and that’s _so close_ to the dragon.  That shouldn’t be too bad of a detour, right?”

“...Dragons would be dangerous...”

“It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine,” Viktor said, waving his hand casually as if they were just talking about kittens.

Yuuri sighed patiently.  It was too early for this.

Just then, Phichit came back, hand full of something limp and swinging.  “Morning, Yuuri!”  Phichit called, holding it up victoriously.  “Can you believe it?  The prince must be a lucky charm!  It’s a duck!  A real duck!  An actual decent meal.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen something like this just out and about.  You can have it, of course.  I’ll go back and eat later.”

Yuuri could see Viktor tense all over as he stared, smile faded from his face.

“You okay?”  Yuuri asked.

“I...”  Viktor pulled his eyes from the duck.  “Yeah.  I just...  I’ve never...”  He faded off, taking in a deep breath and looking back down at the map.  

He cleared his throat and forced his voice into normalcy.  “Phichit, what do you think we should see first?  The sirens or the fairies?”

“Those both seem like a bad choice,” Phichit laughed, still clueless about the blood and letting it splat against the floor.  

Viktor shuddered.  He asked, keeping his voice light.  “...Bad choice?”  

“Well, sirens will drown you and fairies will make you dance until your doom.  I guess it depends on which you think is the better way to die.”

“Dance,” Viktor said, at the same time Yuuri murmured, “Probably drown.”

They both looked at each other, challenge in their eyes.

Viktor said, “At least dancing until you die means you’ll be having fun until your last moments.”

“You won’t be having fun when you’re tired enough it kills you,” Yuuri muttered.  “Drowning’s definitely not the preferred way to go, but at least it’s faster than dancing.”

Phichit laughed brightly, whipping out a fire starter and pulling some tinder out from his bag.  A fire was blazing in no time and Phichit settled back, preparing the duck.  “How about avoid both and then you won’t have to worry about either?”

“I agree with Phichit,” Yuuri nodded wisely.

“You two are no fun,” Viktor rocked forward, still gazing intently on the map.  “Well, since no one seems to like my ideas, where do you suggest we go first?”  He pulled out Yurio’s map and laid them side-by-side, comparing.

Yuuri scooted closer and observed, face stern in concentration.  “Yurio’s map seems to be more technical with the roadways and rivers and stuff.  Phichit’s is somewhat more of a bestiary.”

“What?”  Phichit squawked.  “My river markings are very accurate.”

“Yeah, yeah.  Knowing which monsters are there is very helpful too, you know.”

“I like it,” Viktor said.  “This cow is very cute.”

Phichit’s mouth dropped open in horror.  “That’s a _leviathan_.”

Yuuri and Viktor laughed.  

“Phichit, have you been to any of these villages here?   Do you think we could find shelter there?”

He hummed as he looked at the points Yuuri was pointing to.  “Honestly, this village and this village was worse off than we were.  I wouldn’t go there for help.  This one was okay, but they were kind of snooty.  I’m kind of surprised that you’re going to a village though.  Wouldn’t you try to get Minako’s three wonders?”

Yuuri rubbed his nose as he looked up.  Viktor was biting his lip and turning away, eyes swimming and lost.  Yuuri frowned.  “What’s that?”

“Well, Viktor’s mother was an angel, right?  There’s that legend: she split her power into three separate parts and entrusted them to three different people she felt could guard them safely.  There’s the dragon of the west, the sorcerer of the east, and the leviathan of the south.  Viktor has angel blood running through his veins, doesn’t he?  So if he collects them all, he can safely use the power, right?  I just assumed since he can sing up plants and whatnot that the legends were true too.  Are they not?”  He directed the last question to Viktor, whose energy seemed to have vanished.  

He was uncharacteristically hunched over, trying to make himself look smaller than he was.  

Yuuri said softly, afraid to break the brittle silence, “I’d never heard of that.”

“Well,” Viktor said, voice equally as soft.  He brought his finger to the ground and started pushing bits of debris out of the way, drawing swirls and shapes into it.  “I mean.  I wouldn’t know...you know?  It’s just a tale that people have said.  Who says it’s not metaphorical?  A lot of other people knew her much better than I ever will.”  He shifted, dusting the dust off his finger as he reached over for his bag.  He sorted through it, small frown on his brow and dragging down his lips. “Here it is.”  

Viktor handed a book out to Yuuri.  It was old and heavy, the cover bounded in leather that was worn and soft.  Yuuri took it carefully.  He could see from the delicate way Viktor was handling it that it was important to him.  

“My father used to read it to me when I was younger, and then to Yurio too.  I didn’t really like it much because, well, I just...  Anyway, Yurio took it.  I didn’t even know he still had it.”

Yuuri smiled slightly, finger running over the crisp golden edges.  “He took good care of it.  He seems to take in all your old things.”

Viktor laughed, small and breathless.  “I’m coming to realize he’s quite the secretive hoarder.”

“Can I see?”  Phichit said, getting to his feet and huddling over Yuuri’s shoulder.  “Wow, now _this_ is a book.  I love those illustrations...  This is the story!  Like I was saying.”

Viktor hummed, eyes distant.  “I can’t do the smallest fraction of what my mother could...”

Phichit’s enthusiasm was blazing.  “But with these, you could!  You could get powerful, come back, scare the queen away, reclaim the throne, defrost winter - and bam!  Instant heaven on earth.  Think of the beautiful kingdom you could create with her powers!  It’d be just like our parents always talked about!  It’d be amazing!  You have to do it!”

Viktor bit his lip.  “I don’t know...  The three wonders...if I’m not worthy, they could kill me with one touch.  What if I’m not strong enough?  What if I’m not as much as my mother as I’d like to think?”  He cut off abruptly, breath stuck in his lungs the words he couldn’t say aloud.  His eyes slid up to Yuuri’s, desperate and uncertain, speaking what his mouth could not, at least not directly: _I’m scared_.

Yuuri reached over, grabbing Viktor’s hand in his own.  They locked eyes.  

Yuuri had seen it.  He’d witnessed the miracles of life blooming from Viktor’s music, the way the flowers had danced and reached up to him as if he were the sun.  He’d seen that large empty burnt space where the garden had filled, how it was bleak and empty and cold without his touch.  

But with his touch...with all Viktor’s heart and soul and love, the _things_ he could make.  The places he could create.  The spaces he could fill.

Yuuri nodded, eyes blazing with all the warmth and surety he felt for Viktor.  “I know you can do it.”

“You do?”  Viktor breathed.

“Yes.”  He’d never been so certain in his life.  “We can go.  We can meet these people your mother trusted, and if you don’t think you can do it at that time, I won’t force you.  But I believe in you, Viktor.  You already know what you have to do.  You were born for spreading your music, just like your mother.  I’ve heard it.  I’ve seen it.  It’s the most wonderful thing in the world.”

A small smile was building on Viktor’s face, effectively erasing the hesitance.  His eyes twinkled.  “You really think so, Yuuri?”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think it was true.  I believe in you.  More than anything.”

Viktor’s responding smile was bright enough to make night look like day.  

Phichit coughed awkwardly.  “Well.  I’ll just, um, leave, and you two can...uh.  Go back to...doing whatever you were going to do.”

Viktor blinked over at him innocently.  “What?”

Yuuri’s face was bright red in a heartbeat.  He jumped away from Viktor’s hand as if it burned him.

“Nothing,” Phichit said brightly.  “I’m glad you two figured out where you need to go.  I’d like to go with you, and I will if you really want me to, but I’d also like to keep an eye out around here.  Is that okay?”

“Stay here, Phichit,” Yuuri nodded.  “I’ll miss you, but we’ll be okay.”  

“Here,” Phichit said, leaning behind him and collecting his bow.  Yuuri recognized it; it was the bow Phichit had used since forever.  His brother and him had made it together and it had taken ages of hard work and patience until Phichit was satisfied with it.  It was a beautiful bow and served him well.  He held it out.  “I know you’re better with a sword, Yuuri,” he laughed, a glint in his eye that told of an embarrassing story, “but I wouldn’t feel right letting you leave without it.”

“I’ll take it,” Viktor said quickly, reaching out and grabbing it from him before either could object.

“Whoa!”  Yuuri jumped in his seat as Viktor quickly strung the arrow, holding it out.  “Watch where you’re pointing that!!”

“I’m good at this, Yuuri.  Ask me to shoot anything.”

“U-uh...”  Yuuri’s eyes were honed on the point of the arrow.

“That large knot up there!”  Phichit said, pointing to a root from up above, far and distant.  Yuuri had to squint to see it, even with his glasses on.

Viktor lined up the shot, bright easy smile on his face, and let loose.  The arrow cut through the air and met its target with a loud sure thunk that echoed proudly through the cavern.  No problem.

Yuuri gawked, looking over at Phichit with wide eyes to make sure he was actually seeing right.  He looked back at the arrow again and squeaked: “You hit it!”

“He’s better than you, Yuuri,” Phichit was grinning.

“Told you!”  Viktor beamed, basically bouncing in his spot facing Yuuri, waiting for praise.  “Didn’t I say I knew some things?”

“You didn’t tell me you were an expert archer!”

“I wouldn’t go _that_ far,” Viktor said, but he was flushed with delight.

Phichit clapped his hands together merrily.  “I feel even better now leaving it in the hands of not-Yuuri.  Don’t let him use that bow, Your Highness.  He’s scary with it.”

“Scary _good_ ,” Yuuri said.  

Viktor snorted in surprise, eyes glowing as he took in the more extroverted Yuuri.  

Phichit pursed his lips in a smile and shook his head, getting to his feet.  “The duck should be done in a bit.  Keep turning it.  When it’s finished, put out the fire and leave.  I didn’t see anyone out there, but _be careful_.”

“Okay, _Mom_ ,” Yuuri sighed.  “I’ve got this, Phichit.  We’ll be alright.”

“I-I know, Yuuri.  Sorry.  I just...”  He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “I never thought I’d see the day any of us left this village.  Please come back safely.”

“I will,” Yuuri nodded firmly.

“Where are you thinking of going first?”

“The dragon!”  Viktor’s eyes lit up in excitement.  “I wonder if it spews fire!”

Phichit laughed, gazing over the both of them with fondness warming his cheeks.  “Good luck.  Both of you.  Next time I see you, _you'd_ better be king, and _you'd_ better be the most badass knight to ever walk the earth.  You hear me?  Better than my brother.  Better than _me_.”

“Not possible,” Yuuri laughed.

Phichit pointed his finger strictly at Yuuri.  “Better make it possible or I’ll be very upset.”

“Can’t have that.”

“Nope.  Definitely can’t.”  He hovered, hands on his hips, no words left to say, but still, there was that magnet between them.  None of them wanted to let go.  

“See you, Yuuri,” Phichit said softly, eyes suddenly vulnerable.  “Your Highness.”

“Bye, Phichit,” Yuuri whispered, getting to his feet and tossing his arms around Phichit’s shoulders.  

“Agh, don’t cry!  You’ll make me cry!”  Phichit said, laughter wet and quivering.  Phichit wrapped his arms around Yuuri, and then held his hand out for Viktor and then it was the three of them hugging in a bundle one last time.

“Be careful,” they were saying to each other, words breaking off through tears.  “Be safe.  We’ll see you again.  Soon.  Promise.”

It was their final bit of home detaching itself from them.

They’d be okay.

They could do it.

That’s what Yuuri told himself as he watched his best friend walk away, footsteps slowly fading, back into the darkness until he was swallowed by it.  He tried not to think about how it could very well be the last time he ever saw him.  He tried not to feel like the inferior weaker knight, trembling and small as the last of the brave confident strength left them.  

Now it was only him to protect Viktor.  He would just have to be enough.  
  


* * *

 


End file.
